‘The Cold’
Season 6, Episode 3 - Aired October 8, 2014
Phil resorts to creative editing of Mitchell and Cameron's wedding video when the footage reveals that he was responsible for a cold that has plagued the family. Jay and Gloria take different tacks as Manny feels the stress of being on the high school football team, while Cameron must decide whether or not to bench him. Meanwhile, Mitchell arranges a play date for Lily with a super smart classmate.
Quote from Mitchell
Mitchell: Hi. We had so much fun.
Sydney's mom: Oh, good. Sydney, honey, are you crying?
Sydney: He ruined my picture and pulled my hair!
Mitchell: Just little accidents.
Sydney: And he called me a know-it-all!
Sydney's mom: What kind of a person calls a 6-year-old a know-it-all? [door closes]
Mitchell: She's a year younger than you?
Quote from Luke
Phil: Get in the media closet. Cut every wire.
Luke: Dad, get ahold of yourself.
Phil: You're right. [Luke slaps Phil] I said, "You're right"!
Luke: Sorry. I already had it loaded up.
Quote from Gloria
Gloria: Everybody come to dinner. Then we watch the wedding movie.
Cameron: Hey, thank you guys so much for hosting. And I hope there's no hard feelings about Manny.
Jay: You're the coach. You can't play favorites.
Gloria: Exactly.
Cameron: I am so relieved to hear you say that.
Gloria: No, no, no. One of our chairs is broken. Come. I have a special seat for you.
Cameron: Oh. Mitchell! She benched me.
Quote from Andy
Andy: I'm just glad we didn't take it any further. Because clearly, we are wrong for each other.
Haley: Totally.
Andy: We are way better as friends.
Haley: Way!
Andy: Like, imagine if we kissed or something.
Haley: Ha!
Andy: That would've been a disaster.
Haley: A huge disaster.
Andy: You would've been destroyed.
Haley: Yeah... What?
Quote from Andy
Andy: Whoa, Joe. What's with the snow on the roof? You're aging like a president.
Quote from Cameron
Gloria: Sit down.This is a family dinner. We all eat together.
Cameron: Are there potatoes? I smell potatoes.
Quote from Lily
Mitchell: Here you go, sweetheart.
Lily: You eat it.
Mitchell: Lily, it wasn't that bad.
Lily: You still got my friend's hair in your watch!
Quote from Alex
Jay: What were you thinking with that playdate?
Mitchell: I was feeling protective. That girl made Lily feel bad.
Jay: Or did she make you feel bad?
Mitchell: I didn't love it.
Phil: That happens with all first-time parents. We think our kids are the best or the smartest. For the longest time, that's how we felt about Haley.
Alex: "The longest time"? Really?
Quote from Claire
Gloria: You have always been like this. You put so much pressure into your kids that they fall into pieces.
Jay: I never put more pressure on my kids than they can handle.
Claire: [entering, coughing] Oh, don't be mad, Dad. I'm sorry. I tried. I really -- I tried. [slides to the floor]
Quote from Andy
Andy: Okay. I didn't mean to imply that if we kissed, it wouldn't affect me. Are you kidding? You are so pretty and so out of my league. It would've rocked my world.
Haley: Okay, then.
Andy: It just would've hit you harder. That's all. [in British accent] Mr. Pritchett! Your bath awaits! Are you prepared for a bum-scrubbing today, sir?