![Mother Tucker](assets/uploads/2/md69e99a107ff748a91c4d81e2a2738e70ca210d19.jpg)
‘Mother Tucker’
Season 2, Episode 9 - Aired November 24, 2010
When Haley and Dylan break up, Phil is the hardest hit. Meanwhile, Mitchell is very uncomfortable when Cameron's mother, Barb, visits. Meanwhile, Jay freaks out about his health when he and Manny try to diagnose the problem on the Internet.
Quote from Cameron
Barb Tucker: From now on, if I go too far. Please, you just tell me about it.
Mitchell: Okay.
Barb Tucker: What is th- Oh! Almost lost my bracelet. Oh, wait a minute!
Mitchell: And there it is. Okay.
Barb Tucker: Oh, dang it!
Mitchell: I'll get it.
Barb Tucker: Oh, no. I saw where it fell, honey.
Mitchell: Force field! Force field!
Cameron: What's going on?
Barb Tucker: I lost my bracelet in here.
Cameron: Mama! Listen, I think this might be one of those situations where Mitchell feels like you're crossing a boundary.
Barb Tucker: Really?
Cameron: Yeah.
Barb Tucker: This too?
Cameron: Yeah.
Barb Tucker: Well. I've gotta have a good, long think about how I conduct myself. I'm truly sorry, Mitchell.
Mitchell: It's okay. It's okay.
Barb Tucker: Well, let's take one quick picture. And we'll get out of his way.
Quote from Phil
Phil: Hey.
Haley: I miss him.
Phil: Yeah. He was your first real boyfriend.
Haley: I keep expecting him to show up. He used to come by at night and I'd sneak out to see him.
Phil: Yeah, I know.
Haley: You knew?
Phil: His car's 30 years old and doesn't have a muffler. And he honked.
Haley: I loved that car.
Phil: I rode in it to the guitar store. I felt like I was flying. I know it hurts now, sweetheart, but that's how you know it was a relationship worth having.
Haley: Thanks, Dad.
Quote from Haley
Haley: So, the rate of diffusion equals something times the square root of something I give up.
Alex: Aw, so close!
Haley: Shut up!
David: Don't worry. You'll get it. You know, a lot of famous scientists are women.
Haley: They're fat though, right?
Quote from Mitchell
Mitchell: [aside to camera] From the minute I met Barb she has been open and loving and caring. If I had one complaint, and I do, it's the inappropriate putting of her hands on my body. ... It's-it's been going on a long time.
Quote from Manny
Manny: Jay, what are your symptoms? Nausea? Bloating?
Gloria: Manny, what did I say about getting off that crazy doctor web site?
Manny: I'm just worried about Jay. Stomach pains can mean a lot of things: Intestinal blockage- Do you have a fever?
Gloria: Stop it!
Quote from Jay
Gloria: Manny, he's fine. Tell him you're fine.
Jay: I'm fine.
Gloria: Okay, good. Get in the car.
Jay: Uh, home fine, not mall fine.
Gloria: Jay, you know what happens when I shop angry.
Jay: I'll clear a space.
Quote from Manny
Manny: I'm not loving your color.
Jay: Go play.
Manny: Don't be a hero.
Quote from Claire
Phil: You know what? Maybe I'll call Dylan after he talks to Haley. He's gonna need someone to lean on.
Claire: That someone should not be his ex-girlfriend's father. Honey, when Dylan is out of her life, he should be out of ours.
Phil: You've always hated Dylan.
Claire: I have not always hated Dylan. I have always thought that Haley could do better. Plus, the new boyfriend is so smart.
Quote from Mitchell
Mitchell: Cam's mom spent half of dinner with her hands all over me. It was like she was blind and wanted to know what my thighs looked like.
Claire: Are you sure? I mean, are you really the best judge of this kind of thing? You've had boundary issues since you were a kid.
Mitchell: I have not!
Claire: Okay. Sorry. My mistake. Must be Cam's mom. Her issues.
Mitchell: What are you doing?
Claire: Nothing. Just getting a spoon.
Mitchell: Stop it.
Claire: Is it bothering you?
Mitchell: Yes, it is.
Claire: Hey, Mitchell.
Mitchell: Claire, stop it!
Claire: Mitchell, Mitchell, Mitchell.
Mitchell: Force field!
Claire: That never stops being fun.
Quote from Dylan
Claire: Hi, Dylan.
Dylan: Hi, Mrs. Dunphy.
Claire: Mmm.
Dylan: Or I guess now that Haley and I broke up, I should call you Claire.
Claire: I actually think we're gonna stick with Mrs. Dunphy.