Gretchen: How are we doing?
Dewey: My fingers hurt but that bad feeling in my stomach is getting better.
Gretchen: This is good. It means you are getting in touch with your guilt, ja?
Dewey: What's the matter?
Gretchen: I just remembered when I was nine, my uncle gave me a pfennig to put in the wishing well but I threw a pebble in the well und I kept the pfennig. I am pure evil. [groans]
Dewey: I once put a garden slug in Reese's sandwich and he ate it.
Gretchen: Und you feel bad about this? [Dewey nods] Then scrub. Oh, look. Blood. We are halfway there. [both chuckle]

Hal: I can see why you love it out here, Otto.
Otto: Yeah, yeah, this is where I come to think, to unwind, or when I am in the doghouse with Gretchen. [chuckles] Ooh, I can be a naughty boy.
Hal: I have a barstool in the garage for the same thing.
Otto: Oh.
Hal: Well, I suppose we should be heading back.
Otto: Yeah, yeah, we could do that or we could get to know each other a little better.
Hal: Is that schnapps?
Otto: In my experience, many interesting things can be discovered with just the proper dosage.

Gretchen: I think that is it. Finally, we are finished.
Dewey: Wow, I feel wonderful.
Gretchen: Ja, it's beautiful, isn't it? This is the moment you work for. Your soul is set free. Your burden has been lifted.
Dewey: I kind of feel like I'm floating.
Gretchen: Well, that's probably the ammonia but we have done well. A clean room leads to a clean conscience, ja?
Dewey: I think I'm happier than I've ever been.
Gretchen: Mm, me, too, liebe. Here, I want to give you something. [hands Dewey a cleaning brush] Promise you will think of me when you use it.
Dewey: Thank you, Tante Gretchen.
Gretchen: De nada.

Francis: This may even top Homecoming '98.
Malcolm: I don't know. That float smoldered for a week.
Reese: How do we know which one's the Komodo 3000?
[An explosion fills the sky with enough light to briefly make it seem like daytime]
Malcolm: [shouts] Let's hope that was it.
Francis: [shouts] Did it say when our vision would come back?
Reese: [shouts] Box said two days.
Francis: [shouts] Totally worth it.

Dewey: This is fun. Why don't we do this every weekend?
Hal: Boy, wouldn't that be nice? Oh, I almost forgot. Francis, I booked a trip for all of us to watch the sunrise tomorrow morning at Devil's Rock.
Malcolm: I don't want to get up at sunrise to go look at some stupid rock.
Hal: It may be a stupid rock for most of the year, but for the rest of this week the angle of the sun at dawn makes it look like there's fire coming out of the devil's eyes.

Reese: Hey, what are you doing? I brought some stuff I wanted to burn.
Francis: You're on cowboy time now. You got to get to bed early and rest up if you want to come riding in the morning.

Dewey: Why won't you guys play Ping-Pong with me? The table's free and I've got the equipment form for Dad to sign.
Reese: Because you're stupid.
Malcolm: And we didn't come all the way out here to be stuck playing with you.
Hal: Wait just a minute. That is precisely why we came out here so that we can all have a good time together. Now, your brother asked you to play with him and that is exactly what you are going to do. [signs slip]

Malcolm: "All terrain." I wonder if that actually means all terrain.
Reese: They couldn't say it if it wasn't true.
[cut to the up-turned ATV stuck on a tree branch which Dewey is hanging off:]
Dewey: Whee-hee!
Reese: Okay, so trees aren't terrain. Now we know.
Dewey: [falls] Ow!

Hal: Well, you did the right thing, Francis. I just don't know when they're going to learn.
Francis: Them? What about you? How could you sign a release form and not read what it's intended for? For God's sake, Dad, my job is hard enough as it is.

Malcolm: "Sometimes Mom's right? Sometimes Mom's right?" Why didn't he just throw acid in our faces? You know, I'd actually prefer that.
Reese: I can't believe he yelled at us right in front of that French guy.
Malcolm: He can't get away with this. We're going to get him back.
Reese: You're damn right we are. Are you with us, Dewey? Dewey?