Future Ted: [v.o.] I knew it would be tough to break up with Naomi. But when it's just not there, you can't force it.
Ted: Happy Halloween.
Future Ted: [v.o.] And just like that, I was taken back ten years to the hopeful kid in the hanging chad costume, falling head over heels for the Slutty Pumpkin.
Naomi: I made you something.
Ted: Oh.
Naomi: Your costume from that first night. Although you do realize that even ten years ago, the hanging chad reference was like almost a year old.
Ted: Wow. I can't believe you made this.
Naomi: I can't believe you found me.
Ted: [inner monologue] Stay strong, Teddy. We can do this. [out loud] I... [i/m] "Have to break up with you,"
just say it. [o/l] Love... [i/m] Wait, what? No, no, no, no, no, no, no! Say sunsets! Pancakes! Anything! Just don't say... [o/l] You. [i/m] No!

Robin: [on the phone] Barney? Where are you? You're moving slower than John Diefenbaker climbing Mount Hungabee on Boxing Day. Those are all real references to our shared homeland.
Barney: I'll be right there.
Robin: Can't wait to see you in your costume, Dudley Do-Right.

Barney: [leads chant] USA! USA! Come on.
Robin: Okay, so rather than wearing a Mountie costume and end this forever, you show up shirtless to an outdoor party? It's practically November.
Barney: No biggie. I ain't cold.
Robin: Huh. Interesting. It's fascinating. Almost as if your body was accustomed to low temperatures after generations of adapting. Canada.
Barney: No.

[flashback to Ted and Naomi on the roof:]
Naomi: [inner monologue] Why won't he stop sniffing my hair? And what's up with the hand holding
It's like he's trying to win a thumb war.
[flashback to Ted and Naomi in her apartment:]
Naomi: Ted, this is our song. [inner monologue] Oh, no, he thinks I'm actually into this song. Does he not get sarcasm? [outloud] Let's make love to this song. [inner monologue] I'll just be even more ridiculous to make it clear it's a joke. [singing] Chickety-China, the Chinese chicken...
[flashback to Ted and Naomi at her door:]
Ted: I...
Naomi: [inner monologue] Uh-oh, where you going with this, buddy?
Ted: ...love...
Naomi: [inner monologue] Nope, too soon. Say basset hounds, Pretzel Crisps, anything but...
Ted: ...you.
Naomi: [inner monologue] Oh, God, just kiss him before he proposes.

[fantasy scene with two Barneys, one dressed as Uncle Sam and another as a Canadian Mountie:]
Barney: [Canadian accent] Oh, hey there, I'm Barney, how are you?
Barney: No, I'm Barney. [punches Canadian Barney] Whoa.
Barney: [Canadian accent] You pack quite a wallop there. Hope you didn't hurt your hand.
Barney: Why are you so nice? [smashes vase over his head]
Barney: [Canadian accent] Oh, sorry about my thick noodle there. How about we split the cost of the vase, eh? Holy Zamboni. Wow, you really put your weight behind that one. That was a really good one. Oh, heavens to Gretzky, that was a real Chiclet rattler.

Robin: Ted, I know you've waited ten years for this girl, but some things just aren't meant to be.
Ted: Not so fast. At the end of the night, when I leaned in and somehow accidentally kissed her open eyeball, there was a slight flicker of something I might even call chemistry... adjacent.

Marshall: If we move here, you're just going to have that baby, and then you're going to hate me for letting you do this.
Lily: I'm going to love it here. Oh, we'd have so much room in the suburbs. You can get that pinball machine you've always wanted. You can put it anywhere you want.
Marshall: Stop it. You don't know what you're saying.
Lily: Anywhere. Upstairs, downstairs, you can stick it in the back.
Marshall: Lily, I want to be inside this house so bad.

Future Ted: [v.o.] Kids, for years, your Uncle Barney had reveled in mocking Aunt Robin's Canadian heritage.
[flashbacks:]
Barney: To have to grow up in Canada, with America right there.
Barney: It's like an entire country without a tailor.
Barney: Why? Why do we let you be a country?!
Future Ted: [v.o.] But all that was about to change.

Future Ted: [v.o.] Once upon a time at a Halloween party, I met a girl dressed like a pumpkin, a slutty pumpkin. And she was extraordinary. But she gave me her number on a Kit Kat bar, which was tragically given away as Halloween candy. So every year I return to that same party hoping I'd see her again. But with every passing October, that hope grew a little dimmer. Then one day, after ten years of searching...
Ted: Oh, my God. The slutty pumpkin.
[in the store:]
Ted: This might sound creepy, but do you have a record of who rented it in 2001? Wow, that was easy.
Store owner: You're not the first lovelorn young man to walk through that door. Three girls got proposals off my wife's slutty artichoke costume. Two others disappeared, but I focus on the positive.

Future Ted: [v.o.] I couldn't believe it. I actually had her address. I knew I had to play this right. It's not like I could just walk up and knock on her door.
Ted: Hi, you probably don't remember me, but...
Naomi: Halloween, ten years ago. Now that's a slow play.