Future Ted: [v.o.] The next day, Lily and Marshall headed out to Lily's grandparents for dinner. Marshall loved it
out in the 'burbs.
Marshall: Look how many fireflies I caught!
Rita: Don't forget to poke holes in the jar this time.

Morris: Now we have a nice surprise for you. [exits]
Lily: Whatever it is, we're saying no.
Marshall: What?
Lily: You know what. Every time we're here, my grandparents stick us with some big old piece of junk they're getting rid of. It's like the world's worst Showcase Showdown.
[flashback:]
Morris: It's a perfectly usable lawnmower!
Marshall: [cheers]
Lily: We live in an apartment!
Marshall: But maybe someday when we move to the suburbs...
Lily: We're never moving to the suburbs!
Morris: And you also get... this skinny microphone!
Marshall: Oh!

Rita: Before we head out to our place in Florida, we wanted to give our favorite granddaughter a little something.
Lily: Ooh, it's so small. I love it! A key?
Morris: We're giving you the house.
Marshall: Lily, I know you've always hated the suburbs...
Lily: We'll take it!

Robin: Lily, you hate the suburbs.
Lily: I know, but my grandparents giving us a house right when the baby's on the way? It's perfect timing.
Marshall: This is great. I'm finally gonna be able to barbecue with proper ventilation.
[flashback to Lily finding Marshall unconscious in a smoke-filled apartment as the fire-alarm blares:]
Lily: Marshall!

Robin: [to Marshall] That moron should not be making big life decisions right now. If you let her move to the suburbs, it would be like taking advantage of a helpless drunk chick.
Barney: What? Where?! Oh, I got a girlfriend, right.

Barney: Mmm... This is nice. What is this?
Waitress: Canadian whiskey.
Barney: [spit take] I want scotch! American scotch from Scotland! Get that swill away from me!

Future Ted: [v.o.] Even though my first date with Naomi was a little awkward, our second date was a lot awkward.
Naomi: Mmm...!
Ted: [inner monologue] This is the worst kissing of all time!
Naomi: Mmm...
Ted: [inner monologue] How could she possibly be into this? She sounds like those cows in Temple Grandin's hug machines.

Ted: Naomi, listen...
Naomi: Shh... [strokes Ted's hair] You like that, Ted?
Ted: Hmm.
Naomi: Do you like it when I caress your hair? Your hair is so nice to caress.
Ted: [inner monologue] Why is she saying that word?
Naomi: I like to caress your hair.
Ted: [inner monologue] There it is again! "Caress!" Who says that?
Naomi: [whispers] Caress.

Ted: The thing is, I like her, okay? I really, really like her. I just don't seem to like anything she says or does. I have to break up with her, don't I?
All: Yes!
Barney: After you sleep with her, yes!

Lily: Marshall, I've been thinking about what you said. You're right, we shouldn't move to the suburbs. Let's not make any huge life decisions right now.
Marshall: Is this because you tried to make waffles with the laptop this morning?