Robin: Okay, fine, I'll watch it with you.
Barney: Yeah!
Robin: But if either of you makes even one peep about the show being dirty, I'm turning it off. I'm serious.
[on Space Teens:]
Robin Sparkles: Hey Jessica, how's your beaver?
[in the apartment, Ted and Barney spit take]
Jessica Glitter: Great. How's your beaver?
Robin Sparkles: Busy as ever!
[Ted and Barney stifle laughter]
Robin: Our characters had pet beavers.
Ted: [giggles] Sure.
Robin: The beaver is the official animal of Canada. It's our national mascot.
Barney: It's a noble creature.

[on Space Teens:]
Alan Thicke: Okay, girls. Everyone knows a beaver's favorite food is wood. I just hope we brought along enough of it for our three-day galactic space journey. So let's do the math. If Robin's beaver devours six inches of wood every half hour, and Jessica's beaver devours eight inches of wood every 45 minutes, how much wood will I need to keep both of these beavers well-fed all weekend long?
[Ted and Barney burst out laughing]
Robin Sparkles: While you figure it out at home, how about [aboot] we sing you a song about [aboot] our beavers?

[Robin plays the video:]
Robin Sparkles: I know, how about I sing you a song! [singing] Let's go the mall everybody! Come on, Jessica. Come on, Tori.
Robin: I was a teenage pop star in Canada.
Robin Sparkles: Put on your jelly bracelets And your cool graffiti coat. At the mall, having fun Is what it's all about.
Lily: This is the most amazing thing I've ever seen.
Marshall: That's you?
Robin: Yes. I had one minor hit. I had to go all over Canada and sing this song in malls. For a whole year I lived off of Orange Juliuses and Wetzel's Pretzels.
Robin Sparkles: Everybody come and play. Throw every last care away. Let's go to the mall, today.
Marshall: This is the 90s. Why does it look like 1986?
Robin: The 80s didn't come to Canada till like '93.

[on "Robin Sparkles: Underneath the Tunes":]
Announcer: Sparkles's hit records "Let's Go to the Mall' and "Sandcastles in the Sand" both went maple, with "Mall" eventually going double maple.
Luc Robitaille: I've never admitted this till now, but before a big game, I'd listen to "Sand Castles in the Sand" and get a good cry on. I'm not ashamed.
Announcer: But after endless touring, Robin started to crack.
Robin: [1996 interview] Who doesn't love the mall? Shopping with your friends and... I can't do this. Get this out of my face, please. Thank you. Pardon me. Thanks. Sorry.

Robin Sparkles: [singing on video] Everybody come and play. Throw every last care away. Let's go to the mall, [laughs] today!
Barney: Did you have to laugh like that every time?
Robin: Yes.
Robin Sparkles: There's this boy I like. Met him at the food court. He's got hair like Gretzky and he does jumps on his skateboard. I hope he asks me out. Take me to my favorite spot. It'll be just him and me.
Robot: But don't forget the robot.
Marshall: The robot! Hey!
[Marshall and Robin high five]
Robin Sparkles: But, baby, I don't wanna wait.
Ted: No, she doesn't wanna wait.
Robin Sparkles: I'm gonna rock your body anyway. I'm going to rock your body 'til Canada Day. Everybody, come and play. Throw every last care away. Let's go to the mall, today! Today, today, today, today. Let's go to the mall (today). Let's go to the mall (today)...

[Robin Sparkles, "Sandcastles in the Sand". Make It Sparkle. Dominant Records]
Robin: [singing] Met you at the mall. Didn't know how far ... My friends said I was a fool. You're a fool. [Shut up]. 'Cause you were a fool and got kicked out of school. [You're so rad.] Together we were gonna travel the globe. From Alberta to Ontario. And now I'm building sandcastles in the sand. [Sandcastles in the sand] Though I could fly when you held my hand. Thought I could fly [But now] Eternity returns to black and white. It was the greatest weekend and a half of my life. We used to go to the beach. On our favorite bench. We'd sit and talk and you taught me to French.

Robin & Jessica Glitter: [singing] Two beavers are better than one Dah, dah-dah, dah-dah, dah-dah, dah-dah, dah Two beavers are better than one They're twice the fun Ask anyone A second beaver Can be second to none
Robot: Two beavers are better than one.

[on "Robin Sparkles: Underneath the Tunes":]
Robin: My new name is... Robin Daggers! Two, three, four! [sings] Though you're beautiful...
Alex Trebek: That day is now known in music history as the day grunge was born.
[in the apartment:]
Ted: In 1996, in Canada? That seems right, Trebek.
Marshall: Give him a break. He's not a music guy.
[on "Robin Sparkles: Underneath the Tunes":]
Geddy Lee: That day is now known in music history as the day that grunge was born.
[in the apartment:]
Marshall: Well, that's a bummer.

Barney: So are you the one that Robin stalked?
Simon: Oh, that story goes back to the 1996 Grey Cup.
Barney: What in God's name is that?
Simon: Only Canada's Super Bowl. Didn't you ever see Robin Sparkles: Underneath the Tunes on MuchMusic?
Barney: Again, I have to go with, "What in God's name is that?"
Simon: It's only Canada's VH1's Behind the Music. There's one all about Robin Sparkles. Tells you the whole story from "A" to zed.
[Barney gets up and then runs out of Tim Hortons]

Jessica Glitter: [singing] Hey, beaver, come on When you feel alone Just pick up that phone And I'll be there
to share my
Robin & Jessica Glitter: Ice cream cone We'll lick it side by side
Barney: Wow. This is so dirty.
Marshall: Come on, Barney. It's a sweet song about friendship.
Ted: Yeah, dude, come on.
Robin & Jessica Glitter: Day is done Two beavers are better than one Dah, dah-dah, dah-dah, dah-dah, dah-dah, dah Two beavers are better than one They're twice the fun Ask anyone A second beaver can be second to none Two beavers are better than one.
[The Canadian flag unfurls behind Robin and Jessica]
Robin & Jessica Glitter: Dah, dah-dah, dah-dah, dah... You're my favorite beaver...