Lily: Wow, you're cooking?
Marshall: Yes, I am.
Lily: Aww. [kisses Marshall] Are you sure that's a good idea after last time? You looked really creepy without eyebrows.
Marshall: I can handle this. I think you'll find I'm full of surprises tonight.
Lily: So there's more surprises? Like what?
Future Ted: [v.o.] Marshall was in his second year of law school, so he was pretty good at thinking on his feet.
Marshall: Boogity boo! And that's all of them! I'm gonna go... cook.

Ted: I'm so happy for Marshall, I really am. I just couldn't imagine settling down right now.
Yasmine: So do you think you'll ever get married?
Ted: Well, maybe eventually. Some fall day. Possibly in Central Park. Simple ceremony, we'll write our own vows. Band, no DJ, people will dance. I'm not going to worry about it. Damn it, why did Marshall have to get engaged? [Yasmine laughs] Yeah, nothing hotter than a guy planning out his own imaginary wedding, huh?
Yasmine: Actually, I think it's cute.
Ted: Well, you're clearly drunk. One more for the lady!

Future Ted: [v.o.] There are two big questions a man has to ask in life. One you plan out for months, the other just slips out when you're half drunk at some bar.
[split scene: Marshall and Lily at home, Ted and Yasmine at MacLaren's]
Marshall: [To Lily] will you marry me?
Ted: [To Yasmine] you wanna go out sometime?
Lily: Of course, you idiot!
Yasmine: I'm sorry. Carl's my boyfriend.
Ted: Sup, Carl?

Future Ted: [v.o.] It was like something from an old movie. Where the sailor sees the girl across the crowded dance floor, turns to his buddy and says, "See that girl? I'm going to marry her someday"
Ted: Hey, Barney, see that girl?

Marshall: I'm sorry, Lily. I'm so sorry. Take us to the hospital.
Cabdriver: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Did you hit her?
Lily: Hit me? Please, this guy could barely even spank me in bed for fun. He's all like, "Oh, honey, did that hurt?" and I'm like, "Come on, let me have it you pansy!" Wow, complete stranger.
Cabdriver: No, no, no, no. It's okay, go on. So these, spankings, you in pajamas or going "au naturelle"?

Ted: So what do you do?
Robin: I'm a reporter for Metro News 1.
Ted: (nods) Oh.
Robin: Well, kind of a reporter. I do those dumb little fluff pieces at the end of the news, you know, like, u, "Monkey who can play the ukulele". But I'm hoping to get some bigger stories soon.
Ted: Bigger like, uh, gorilla with an up-right bass? Sorry, you're really pretty.

Ted: Hey, you wanna have dinner with me Saturday night?
Robin: Oh, I can't. I'm going to Orlando for a week on Friday. Some guys attempting to make the biggest pancake, so guess who's covering it.
Ted: That's going to take a week?
Robin: Yeah, he's going to eat it too. It's another record.

[After Robin threw a drink in Ted's face]
Barney: De-wait for it-nied! Denied! [laughs]
Ted: We're going out tomorrow night.
Barney: I thought we were playing laser tag tomorrow night?
Ted: Yeah, I was never going to go play laser tag.

Ted: Mom, Dad, I have found the future Mrs. Ted Mosby! Marshall, how have I always described my perfect woman?
Marshall: Oh, let's see, she likes dogs?
[flashback:]
Robin: I've got five dogs.
[present:]
Marshall: She drinks scotch?
[flashback:]
Robin: I love a scotch that's old enough to order its own scotch.
[present:]
Marshall: Can quote obscure lines from "Ghostbusters"?
[flashback:]
Robin: Ray, when someone asks you if you're a god you say, "Yes!"
[present:]
Ted: And I'm saving the best for last.
[flashback:]
Robin: Do you want these? I hate olives.
[present:]
Marshall: She hates olives! Awesome!

Ted: The olive theory is based on my friends, Marshall and Lily. He hates olives, she loves them. In a weird way that's what makes them such a great couple. A perfect balance. [eats olive]
Robin: You know, I've had a jar of olives just sitting in my fridge forever.
Ted: I can take them off your hands.
Robin: They're all yours.