Lorelai: What are we gonna do?
Luke: I've got some thoughts.
Lorelai: Alright, but no taking me to an art museum after hours and then to an empty Hollywood bowl where you give me a pair of diamond earrings that you bought with your college money when all the time you're really in love with your best friend, the drummer, who's posing as our driver for the evening.
Luke: Okay, I'll think of something else.

Rory: What was that all about?
Lorelai: We were just talking about our date for tonight.
Rory: A real date? Finally!
Lorelai: Yeah, finally.
Rory: What are you gonna wear?
Lorelai: Mmm, glass slippers, a backwards baseball cap...
Rory: and nothing else.
Lorelai: Exactly.

Paris: [on the phone] He was teaching a Shakespeare class A Midsummer Night's Dream. He was doing Puck, and then suddenly he wasn't.
Rory: Oh, man.
Paris: And the class was so into his reading, they didn't even get it. They thought he was acting. It was Dick Shawn all over again.

Emily: Moving on to the subject of your car.
Richard: Excuse me?
Emily: You parked the Cadillac in the driveway when you worked on it this weekend, and it leaked oil all over the place.
Richard: It's a tiny stain, Emily.
Emily: It's a large stain, and I see it every day when I walk in and out of the door.
Richard: Really? You can see the driveway with your nose way up in the air like that? [off Emily's look] I apologize. That was uncalled for.

Lorelai: "Reserved."
Luke: I told you I'd planned the evening.
Lorelai: Weren't we supposed to let someone who works here seat us?
Luke: Not necessary.
Lorelai: Is this like a Mafia thing?
Luke: Excuse me?
Lorelai: The whole coming in, special table, reserved sign. Are you gonna have to whack someone before the soup course?
Luke: No, I've filled my whacking quota for the week.

Lorelai: They know you.
Luke: Actually, I come here two, three times a week. Yeah. Breakfast, dinner, whenever I have the time.
Lorelai: Oh, my God, Luke has a 'Luke's'.

Lorelai: I can't believe you kept that horoscope.
Luke: You're just lucky I never clean out my wallet.
Lorelai: You can't take it back now. You've exposed yourself. You've been pining for me.
Luke: [chuckles] I have not been pining.
Lorelai: I'm your Ava Gardner.
Luke: God help me.

Lorelai: [on the phone] Nobody knows. I swear.
Luke: How do you know?
Lorelai: Well, I walked by Hello! magazine this morning. They mentioned nothing.
Luke: Well, maybe they're just trying to be, I don't know, respectful about it.
Lorelai: Babette? Miss Patty?
Luke: Well, maybe they're trying not to embarrass you.
Lorelai: Babette? Miss Patty?
Luke: Well, maybe- I'm out.
Lorelai: Has anyone mentioned it to you?
Luke: No, but, seriously, who's gonna mention it to me?
Lorelai: Babette? Miss Patty?

Luke: [on the phone] Let's just look at it this way. It's out. We don't have to worry about it. We can just go on. Are we still on for tonight?
Lorelai: Liz Taylor and Richard Burton couldn't go outside without people noticing.
Luke: Well, I'll get drunk, you gain 500 pounds, and we'll give it another go.

Kirk: We think Fay still lives in the caves above the Clancys' Mill. We can't prove it, but every so often, we hear "Delta Dawn" playing over and over.