Rory: This is crazy.
Lorelai: Well, it depends on your definition of "crazy." I, for one, found the Mariah Carey phone messages to her fans just refreshingly imaginative.

Rory: Crazy.
Lorelai: You said it, Patsy Cline.

Paris: [on the phone] Asher's dead.
Rory: What?
Paris: He died two weeks ago in Oxford.
Rory: Oh. Paris, I'm sorry. How?
Paris: Heart attack. It was quick.
Rory: Heart attack?
Paris: Yes.
Rory: Um... It wasn't during, um... was it?
Paris: No, Rory. This great man was not brought down by my vagina, okay?

Rory: Wow.
Paris: I moved some things around. I also switched our rooms. Now, mine may seem bigger, but yours gets less sun, so you don't have to worry about melanoma.

Luke: This person comes tearing into the place in a caffeine frenzy.
Lorelai: Ooh, it's me.
Luke: I was with a customer. She interrupts me, wild-eyed, begging for coffee, so I tell her to wait her turn. Then she starts following me around, talking a mile a minute, saying God knows what. So finally I turn to her, and I tell her she's being annoying - sit down, shut up, I'll get to her when I get to her.
Lorelai: Y'know, I bet she took that very well, 'cause she sounds just delightful.
Luke: She asked me what my birthday was. I wouldn't tell her. She wouldn't stop talking. I gave in. I told her my birthday. Then she opened up the newspaper to the horoscope page, wrote something down, tore it out, handed it to me.
Lorelai: God, seriously. You wrote the menu, didn't you?
Luke: So I'm looking at this piece of paper in my hand, and under "Scorpio," she had written, "you will meet an annoying woman today. Give her coffee and she'll go away." I gave her coffee.
Lorelai: But she didn't go away.
Luke: She told me to hold on to that horoscope, put it in my wallet, and carry it around with me... One day it would bring me luck.
Lorelai: Well, man, I will say anything or a cup of coffee. Um... I can't believe you kept this. You kept this in your wallet? You kept this in your wallet.
Luke: Eight years.
Lorelai: Eight years.
Luke: Lorelai, this thing we're doing here - me, you - I just want you to know I'm in. I am all in. Does that, uh... Are you, uh, scared?

Luke: [sighs] Okay. Let's get something out of the way right now.
Lorelai: What? [Luke grabs a pen and pad from his bedside cabinet] What are you doing?
Luke: Tell me what CD's to get so I don't have to hear about it.
Lorelai: Seriously?
Luke: And skip any '80s groups where the guys dressed up like pirates. I draw the line at pirates.
Lorelai: This has been a really great first date.
Luke: It only took us eight years to get here. [they kiss] Okay. So, U2, right?
Lorelai: Yeah, Bono is a must, and Blondie and, um... Ooh, Sparks, especially the new one, plus Bowie.
Luke: Okay, I know he dressed up like a pirate.
Lorelai: Space man.
Luke: Space man I can deal with.

Lorelai: Shaken, not stirred, please, Jeeves.
Richard: His name is Robert.
Lorelai: I thought every butler's name was Jeeves.
Richard: He's not a butler. He's a valet.
Lorelai: So he parks your car?
Richard: No, he does not park my car. He does exactly what you see him doing.
Lorelai: So he is a bartender.
Richard: He attends to my needs.
Lorelai: So he's a geisha.
Richard: You'll be quieter once you have a drink, I assume.

Richard: So, young lady, you're starting your second year of Yale this week.
Rory: Yeah, I move into Branford on Monday.
Richard: You're going to love Branford College. That where I lived, you know.
Rory: I know.
Richard: It is the oldest of Yale's residential colleges They have these Carillon bells that are enchanting, and it has, what was called by Robert Frost, the most beautiful college courtyard in America.
Rory: Well, I'll tell you what, Grandpa I'll get settled in, and then we can have lunch there.
Richard: Ah, that's a deal.
Robert: You wanted me to remind you that you were going to bring out the Hungarian cheese, sir.
Richard: Yes, I did. I'll be right back.

Emily: What do you think you're doing?
Richard: I needed to get something out of my study.
Emily: You are supposed to stay in the pool house. That is what we agreed on.
Richard: I am in the pool house.
Emily: Oh, really? Right now?
Richard: No, not right now. I told you I had to get something.
Emily: Well, you should have called, made an appointment.
Richard: To go into my own study?
Emily: You don't live here anymore, Richard. What if I was sitting in the living room stark-naked?
Richard: You've never been in the living room stark-naked. You've never been stark-naked. We went skinny-dipping one night, and you wore an overcoat.
Emily: The water was freezing!

Lorelai: Okay, but think about it. Why do we need the word "potty"? Is it really that much harder for a kid to learn the word "bathroom"?
Rory: I don't know.
Lorelai: "Timmy, do you have to go potty?" Or "Timmy, do you have to go to the bathroom?" See? Interchangeable.
Rory: Not exactly interchangeable.
Lorelai: How are they not interchangeable?
Rory: To go potty is an action. To go to the bathroom is to go into a specific place.
Lorelai: And I hate the word "potty."
Rory: Well, what did you teach me to say?
Lorelai: "Bathroom."
Rory: You did?
Lorelai: Yes, of course.
Rory: I'm 2, I come up to you and I say, "Mommy, Mommy, I have to go to the..."
Lorelai: The room where legends die.