Lorelai: Michel?
Michel: Yes?
Lorelai: [sighs] I think I'll take that hug now. [they hug] A little weird, huh?
Michel: Yeah, extremely.
Lorelai: Heart in the right place, but never again?
Michel: Thank God.

Lorelai: Hey, Dad.
Richard: Lorelai?
Lorelai: Yeah, I have something for you. Mock turtle soup.
Richard: Mock turtle soup?
Lorelai: Yeah. Sookie made it.
Richard: Mock turtle soup. Mock turtle soup. [sobs] Mock turtle soup. Mock turtle soup.
Lorelai: Oh, hey, soup's gone. No soup here. Who mentioned soup? This is definitely a no-soup zone.

Lorelai: The music's nice.
Richard: Oh, she loved Kay Kyser. She wasn't really a musical woman. Music was a little frivolous for her. But Kay Kyser.
Lorelai: Yeah. Well, she's great.
Richard: Kay Kyser's a man.
Lorelai: Oh, well, his parents had an ugly sense of humor then.

Lorelai: How are the arrangements coming?
Emily: Well, she made them twenty years ago, so the reverend is retired, the florist has moved, and two of the pallbearers are no longer with us. Luckily, they both had sons who look remarkably like them, so I think we can get away with it.
Lorelai: All right, I'm gonna bring this stuff to Dad.
Emily: I'm going to call the florist's idiot stepson.

Richard: This is outrageous! They've completely ruined it!
Emily: Who ruined what?
Richard: Trix's obituary. The Courant just faxed it through. It's disgraceful! I'll sue them!
Emily: Just calm down.
Richard: "Lorelai Gilmore died this week at age 86. A member of the prominent Gilmore family and widow of Charles Abbott Gilmore, she is survived by a son, Richard Gilmore, and numerous other family members and devoted friends."
Emily: Well, it's-
Richard: It's an insult! That's all they write? Nothing about her charity work or her collecting or her travels? And not a word about the new maternity wing that she donated to St. Joseph's! You tell me where all of the fine people of Hartford are supposed to have all their babies if it weren't for my mother, tell me that!
Emily: All right, all right, calm down. We will take care of it.
Richard: She was a saint, that woman!
Emily: I know. Absolutely, we will make sure it says "saint" somewhere in the article.

Rory: [on the phone] Shouldn't I be crying? I feel like I should be crying.
Lorelai: You didn't know her that well.
Rory: Still, she was my great-grandmother. I mean, I should feel more. Oh, God, what if I don't cry at the funeral? Then everyone will see that I'm not crying, and Grandpa will be upset.
Lorelai: Well, honey, if you can't cry, at least you know you can work yourself up into a very respectable panic attack.
Rory: It might have to do.

Lorelai: [on the phone] You're an amazing kid. She was so lucky to have you as a great-granddaughter. Hey, do you want me to come by tonight, pick you up, take you to Tijuana, get you drunk and laid?
Rory: That's okay. I've got too much work to do.
Lorelai: Okay, well, call me if you want to talk or whatever.

Emily: Did I tell you about the burial-slash-cremation clause?
Lorelai: Now you're just making stuff up.
Emily: Your grandmother is to have an open-casket ceremony, displayed in all her glory, then is to be cremated and have her ashes divided in two - half to be buried with her husband in the family crypt, and the other half to be put in an urn and placed on our mantelpiece.
Lorelai: Half of Gran is going to be on your mantel forever.
Emily: Staring at me, judging me, disapproving of me.
Lorelai: So apparently, it's the top half.
Emily: When I first found out, I almost had a coronary, but I've accepted it. From now on, it's going to be a 3-person household. Your father, me, and her urn.

Emily: This is to your father. It's a carbon copy of a letter she sent to your father.
Lorelai: That's nice.
Emily: "My Dearest Richard, It is with heavy heart that I write you this letter tonight, but I cannot stand by and let you make a terrible mistake. Until now, I had thought, hoped, prayed that you would come to the same conclusion that I have. But you have not, and therefore, I feel it is my duty as your mother to beg you to reconsider your impending marriage. [Lorelai gasps] I'm sure that Emily is a very suitable woman for someone, but not for you. She will not be able to make you happy. She does not have the Gilmore stamina or spark. She is simply not a Gilmore."
Lorelai: Well, sure, 'cause you weren't directly related to him.
Richard: "I don't know the circumstances surrounding your breakup with Pennilyn Lott, but it is still my belief that she is much better suited for you than Emily. I know that the timing of this is particularly awkward, since you are to be married tomorrow."
Lorelai: No way!
Emily: "But your happiness is too important to me, so timing be damned."
Lorelai: She wanted Dad to leave you at the altar.
Emily: She begged him to leave me at the altar! She begged him in writing, and then she saved the carbons!

Rory: I don't wanna think that there's that meanness in my genes. I don't wanna inherit something like that.
Lorelai: Yeah, well, who knows what we've inherited from that woman. Count your toes lately?
Rory: What are you talking about?
Lorelai: Well, I've been saving the best for last.
Rory: You're kidding.
Lorelai: Do you know what Gran's maiden name was?
Rory: What?
Lorelai: Gilmore. Grandpa Charles was her second cousin!
Rory: No!
Lorelai: Yes.
Rory: What does that mean about us? What if that's caused, like, a horrible genetic mutation that hasn't shown up yet? Oh, our eyes!
Lorelai: What? We each have two of them.
Rory: No, I always thought it was neat that our eyes look kind of similar, but now I don't know. Is it creepy?