Emily: You can wear my jacket.
Lorelai: Do you have a samurai sword under those pom-poms, Mom? Because you're gonna have to Kill Bill me to get me into that-
Emily: Arm.
Lorelai: Yes, ma'am.

Richard: Well, let's get going.
Lorelai: So, what time does the game start?
Richard: One.
Rory: One?
Lorelai: Then why the hell did we have to meet you at nine?
Emily: Is it absolutely necessary for you to talk like Sharon Osbourne?
Lorelai: You're the one with the dirty button.

Paris: I want you to take a win/lose photo.
Rory: A what?
Paris: A photo as if we won and a photo as if we lost. That way, I have it to remember the day by.
Rory: Why don't you just wait until we win or lose to take the photo?
Paris: Oh, please, I'm already so bored out of my mind, I'm thinking of transferring to Princeton for the hell of it. There's no way I'm gonna make it to the game. Just take the picture so I can go home.
Rory: Okay. [unenthusiastic ally] We won. We lost. We're done.
Paris: I'm out of here.

Luke: Oh, hey, Kirk, I got that cheese in you like.
Kirk: The Pepper Jack?
Luke: Pepper Jack, yes. Anyway, it's here, it's in if you're coming by today. Are you?
Kirk: Am I coming by today?
Luke: Yes.
Kirk: No, not today.
Luke: Kirk, listen, I got that cheese just for you. Do not leave me with three pounds of Pepper Jack on my hands.
Kirk: I won't.
Luke: What are you doing here anyway?
Kirk: Standing in line.
Luke: Why are you standing in line?
Kirk: Because I'm a follower.

Richard: Why did my daughter just call you "naked guy"?
Rory: I now owe you money.
Marty: I, uh, had an unfortunate experience with a keg and a party and a need to take my clothes off and fall asleep in a hallway.
Emily: Oh, my goodness.
Richard: Oh, please, that's nothing. I was naked an entire month my sophomore year.
Rory: What?
Richard: Welcome to tonight's episode of "Things I Never Needed to Know About My Father."
Richard: I and a group of like-minded young men decided to protest the new dress code by wearing silk ties and nothing else. We were written up by the dean of admissions and threatened with expulsion. We were also suddenly very popular with the ladies.
Emily: Ah, yes. This is exactly the kind of conversation I had hoped we would have with our granddaughter and her friend.
Richard: One night in the hallway does not a true naked guy make, my friend.

Lorelai: Okay, is there a star? We need a star. [gasps] Bingo.
Jason: Where?
Lorelai: Ted Koppel's here.
Jason: Where?
Lorelai: Right there.
Jason: Oh, dear, so he really does look like that.

Lorelai: "Twenty-three is old. It's almost twenty-five, which is, like, almost mid-twenties."
Rory: She did not say that.
Lorelai: She did say that.
Rory: It seems a little wrong that Jessica Simpson is alive and well and Roy got eaten by his tiger.
Lorelai: Survival of the fittest, baby.

Lorelai: That was some of the best hovering I've ever seen you do.
Rory: I was taught by the best.
Lorelai: But the focus, you never blinked. And the sneeze. So tiny, so dainty, so terrifying to the old.

Rory: Oh, come on. I'm in a serious romantic dry spell. I need to live vicariously through somebody.
Lorelai: He has called.
Rory: Okay.
Lorelai: He has sent things.
Rory: Pipe bombs?
Lorelai: Flowers, candy.
Rory: Even better.

Lorelai: Dad would flip and Mom hates him, so she would see it as some sort of personal attack and I'm just getting her off me for spilling wine on the carpet.
Rory: When did you do that?
Lorelai: Ninth grade. Things are quiet now. I just wanna keep them quiet.