Lorelai: Do you want some coffee?
Christopher: I'll get it.
Lorelai: Do you know how to make coffee?
Christopher: Yes, I do.
Lorelai: My coffee?
Christopher: One bag of coffee per cup of water, right?
Lorelai: Perfect.

Lorelai: Oh, my God. You know, when Rory called me tonight and said the word "hospital", I just legitimately thought I was having a heart attack. And let me tell you, it was not fun. I'm joining a gym tomorrow. That's how not-fun it was.
Christopher: See if you can you get a two-for-one membership.
Lorelai: Anything could've happened. It could have been so much worse.
Christopher: It wasn't.
Lorelai: No, it wasn't, but it could have been.
Christopher: It wasn't. Everything's gonna be okay.

Christopher: The Yearling?
Lorelai: Great movie.
Christopher: You'd think they'd have gotten the genius in charge of this to come up with something other than that.
Lorelai: Hey, picking a movie that will appeal to a large group of people is hard.

Rory: Yeah, everyone is so upset right now. My dad's in town and something happened between Mom and Luke and she won't tell me what. I don't know. They just need time to cool off and then everything will be fine. Everyone just needs time. Maybe I'll try to call him tomorrow.
Lane: Tomorrow. Oh, that's plenty of time. No one will still be mad then.
Rory: Sarcasm does not become you.
Lane: Maybe not, but it does sustain me.

Lorelai: Why isn't Jackson here?
Sookie: He's singing to his persimmons tonight. They've been a little sour lately.
Lorelai: Right.
Christopher: Right? You just accept that explanation?
Sookie: Why shouldn't I?
Christopher: She just told you the man is not here because he's singing to fruit.
Lorelai: That's better than dancing with it. Remember last year's watermelon crop?
Sookie: Yeah. Threw his back out.
Christopher: Okay, I'm facing the screen now.

[Kirk's movie:]
Kirk: I can't wait to meet your family.
Girlfriend: I'm very close to my family.
Kirk: I know this. That's why I can't wait to meet your family.
Girlfriend: Remember, Daddy is quite protective. I'm his favorite daughter.
Kirk: He has good taste. I intend to tell him that. I love you.
Girlfriend: Daddy.
Father: You are with my favorite daughter.
Kirk: You have good taste.
Father: Come in the house.
Girlfriend: I love you.
Kirk: I love your daughter.
Father: Who are you to love my daughter? What do you have to offer her?
Kirk: Nothing. Only this. [dances]

Christopher: This town is like one big outpatient mental institution.
Lorelai: Glad you could join us.
Christopher: Yeah, me, too.

Lorelai: So, how are you feeling?
Rory: Haunted by the sight of Kirk's bare chest.