Emily: Your father is now the president and CEO of the Gilmore Group, an international insurance consulting firm.
Lorelai: Wow, that's great. So, um, what's the- Like how is- What's his job?
Emily: He's a consultant.
Lorelai: Meaning?
Emily: Your father is an international insurance consultant.
Lorelai: Yeah, yeah, but what exactly does that mean?
Emily: He consults on matters related to international insurance.
Lorelai: Wait. When Dad goes to his new office, he sits down, and he...
Emily: Consults with international clients on insurance matters.
Lorelai: I don't know why we're not opening for Rickles.

Lorelai: Luke's is closed?
Rory: Luke's is never closed.
Lorelai: I know. Are you sure it's closed?
Kirk: Well, first I read the sign, then I tried the door in case it was some elaborate ruse.
Lorelai: Designed to keep only you out?
Kirk: There's precedent.

Rory: [on the phone] That's amazing.
Lane: I know.
Rory: But how are you going to do this?
Lane: I don't know.
Rory: How are you going to buy a drum set?
Lane: I don't know.
Rory: And even if you buy a drum set, where will you play it?
Lane: I don't know. I don't know any of this, but I will figure something out because I am Keith Moon! I am Neil Peart! I am Rick Allen, with and without the arm! Because I am rock 'n' roll, baby! I'll call you later.

Lorelai: What about this?
Rory: The Little Locksmith.
Lorelai: And I got it at the bookstore. Paid full price.
Rory: Thank you.
Lorelai: You're welcome. Feel better?
Rory: I do.
Lorelai: Good. Now can I put a pen on top of your head?

Lorelai: So, what's new for fall? I hear the sailor suit is hot, hot, hot.
Michel: What are you doing here?
Lorelai: Luke's is closed this morning.
Michel: By the health inspector, no doubt.
Lorelai: So, this is where you have your breakfast, huh?
Michel: Until this morning, yes.
Lorelai: How's the grub?
Michel: They make an excellent egg-white omelet, no oil.
Lorelai: Really?
Michel: They use the spray. Can you leave now?
Lorelai: How come you never told me about this place.
Michel: Because you might eat here, and then there would be no corner of my life which would be free of your incessant scrutiny.

Emily: I'm so sorry that Rory isn't feeling well. Is it that flu that's been going around?
Lorelai: Yes, it is.
Emily: Horrible strain. Bunny Carlington Munchausen has been bedridden for two straight weeks.
Lorelai: Huh, well, it must wipe her out just toting that name around.

Richard: She had the gall to counteroffer. She kept insisting that I match her current salary.
Lorelai: You weren't even offering to match the poor woman's salary?
Richard: Lorelai, the Gilmore Group is a fledgling enterprise. I can't afford to pay Margie her full salary right away.
Emily: But after 20 years, where is the woman's sense of loyalty?
Lorelai: Gee, I don't know. Maybe with the company that's keeping her from standing in line for government cheese.

Richard: I can't do it without Margie.
Emily: No one would expect you to.
Lorelai: You can't be serious.
Richard: I wonder if it's too late to get out of my lease.
Emily: You should look into that immediately.
Lorelai: Whoa, whoa, whoa, there is a baby here desperately in need of some bathwater.
Richard: What is she saying, Emily.
Emily: What are you saying, Lorelai?

Lorelai: So, let me guess. The Wu-Tang Clan had the office before you.
Richard: It is a bit disheveled, I know.
Lorelai: Wow, it's freezing in here.
Richard: Yes, it has been since I moved in.
Lorelai: Did you try adjusting the thermostat?
Richard: Yes. That only seemed to make it angry.
Lorelai: So you've been Nanooking it the whole time? Just sending out for whale blubber and mukluks?

Richard: Good Lord, this place goes on forever!
Lorelai: Oh, it goes on until chair mats and floor mats, but if you're not careful you'll loop back into inks and toners and be here all day. Stay close. Hey, there's a seat in the cart if you want a ride.
Richard: No, I'll pass. I mean, look at the scale of this place. No one needs all these options. It's oppressive. Hundreds of paper clips in every conceivable color and size. Now, who on earth would buy these things?
Lorelai: We would. Now, what's the first thing you do when you get to the office in the morning?
Richard: Well, let's see. I return the calls from Asia first.
Lorelai: That's right, you make coffee, so you need a coffee maker. Let's see. Ugly, crappy, German, ooh, pretty.
Richard: Well, as long as it's pretty.
Lorelai: Why is everything worth having just out of reach?
Richard: Is there no one here whose job it is to actually assist paying customers?
Lorelai: No. That's how they can afford to sell this baby for 40% off.
Richard: 40% off. I had no idea.
Lorelai: Nicely done, Dad. You won't be sorry.