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‘Back in the Saddle Again’ Quotes Page 1 of 5    

Gilmore Girls: Back in the Saddle Again

218. Back in the Saddle Again

Aired April 23, 2002

Rory asks her grandfather to be an advisor to her business study group when they create a consumer product for a contest. Dean tries desperately to spend time with Rory as she keeps bailing on him. Meanwhile, Michele's mother (Janet Hubert) visits Stars Hollow.

Quote from Michel

Michel: Do not talk to my mother ever again. Do you understand me?
Lorelai: No, I don't understand. Michel, you and your mother seem crazy about each other. I assumed, since you gave up carbs a year ago, she knew.
Michel: Yes, well, you know what happens when you assume.
Lorelai: What?
Michel: I don't know. Something about a donkey. It's a stupid American phrase!

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Quote from Emily

Lorelai: Mom, there's nothing wrong with getting help.
Emily: Lorelai Gilmore, are you seriously suggesting that your father go to a complete stranger and talk about his personal life?
Lorelai: Lots of people swear by it.
Emily: Yes. Disturbed people. Deviants. People with multiple personalities who see things and hear dogs talking to them and roam the streets talking to themselves and licking parking meters.
Lorelai: Mom.
Emily: Next thing you know, you'll be suggesting I go to a psychiatrist.
Lorelai: Too many comebacks. I cannot pick.

Quote from Lorelai

Lorelai: We're starving.
Emily: We are waiting for your father.
Lorelai: It's going to get cold.
Emily: We're waiting for your father.
Lorelai: We've been waiting forever.
Emily: We have not been waiting forever.
Lorelai: Godot was just here, he said: "I ain't waiting for Richard", grabbed a roll and left. It's been forever.

Quote from Rory

Lorelai: How do you know Jess's writing?
Rory: Oh, well, I lent him a book, and he wrote some stuff in it.
Lorelai: He vandalized one of your books?
Rory: No, he didn't vandalize it, he wrote in the margins, thoughts and stuff.
Lorelai: What, like, "play basketball, eat a sandwich", stuff like that?
Rory: No, like margin stuff. People like Mark Twain wrote in margins.
Lorelai: "Pilot a steamboat, write Huckleberry Finn".

Quote from Rory

Lorelai: How was your day?
Rory: I got an 'A' on my Physics test, finished Candide, and convinced a boy that Paris wouldn't attack his rabbi.
Lorelai: So, uneventful.
Rory: Pretty much.

Quote from Lane

Lane: Sales.
Rory: It's just a stupid test.
Lane: "Lane Kim, you have shown a genuine aptitude for sales."
Rory: It doesn't mean anything.
Lane: "Hello, ma'am, I see you're eyeing the new Whip-o-Matic. This baby's right off the truck. And let me tell you, if you're looking something to fulfill your whipping needs, you've come to the right place. As Devo says: 'If there's a problem, you must whip it with a Whip-o-Matic.'"
Rory: Wow, you are good.
Lane: Stop it.
Rory: I'll take two.

Quote from Michel

Michel: Here, and here.
Lorelai: What?
Michel: Cleaning supplier, there. Here-
Lorelai: That's the?
Michel: Staff insurance forms. Initial here. Date it here.
Lorelai: And I just...
Michel: You just okayed the vaccination of all those filthy ducks in the south pond.
Lorelai: Oh, very nice.
Michel: Yes, a regular Dr. Dolittle.

Quote from Paris

Paris: I'm sorry, group leader, could you ask the Pigeon Sisters if there is a point to this opus?

Quote from Paris

Paris: The average teenager spends seven hours a day at school. Seven hours where he or she is busy walking from class to class indoors, outdoors, in all types of weather. At the same time, that same teenager is going through major physical changes within his or her own body. The combo of the action with the environment in addition to the hormonal imbalance can only lead to one thing: Accidents.
Madeline: What are you talking about?
Paris: Monday morning, Muffin wakes up and looks in the mirror. "Oh, no, I have a zit on my face. I'll just look down when I walk so Hunky Football Player won't notice. And, bam, Muffin smacks right into the cafeteria wall. That's got to hurt."
Madeline: Who's Muffin?
Paris: This is why I'm proposing manufacturing something that no teenager should be without. A first-aid kit.
Louise: A first-aid kit? Specially designed to fit in a locker with minimum space disruption. Band-aids, antiseptic, cotton balls, Q- tips, ace bandages, aspirin.

Quote from Paris

Richard: They sell these things in every drug store, right?
Paris: Yes, they do.
Richard: There's also a registered nurse on campus. Her office would contain the products that you're talking about, correct?
Paris: Possibly.
Richard: Well, what makes you think you could get a young person to spend good money on something that they could get for free, or at least, at a lower cost?
Paris: Because I know one thing about the modern teenager.
Richard: And what is that?
Paris: That you can get them to buy anything as long as it comes in a leopard print.
Louise: True.
Paris: We get them with style. We dress up the kits with sparkles, colors, pictures of bands sport themes for the boys, animal pictures for the puppy-and-unicorn bunch chessboards for the Bobby Fischer freaks. A style for every taste. Plus we use neon band-aids, pink or blue gauze for the bandages. Anything that seems young or flashy or bright.

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