Lorelai: Hey, do you think Luke can knock this wall out and build us a bigger kitchen in five hours?
Rory: You'll have to drop the laundry.
Lorelai: Never mind.

Lorelai: And you tell people no matter what they say, I just couldn't accept a new car. It would be beneath me and I'd be completely humiliated. And a convertible would just make me fling myself off a building.

Lorelai: [answers phone] Hello?
Karen: Lorelai Gilmore?
Lorelai: You got her.
Karen: I'm calling from Richard Gilmore's office.
Lorelai: Never heard of him.
Karen: Richard Gilmore, your father.
Lorelai: Oh, tall, bow tie?
Karen: Yes.
Lorelai: Yes, I'm with you now, go ahead.

Lane: Well, apparently, the world's largest pizza was 122 feet, 8 inches.
Rory: What?
Lane: It says it right there.
Rory: Well, obviously we can't do that.
Lane: Obviously.
Rory: So, then, we'll have to make it the largest pizza in Connecticut.
Lane: Actually, Litchfield made one last year that was 98 feet.
Rory: Pete said the biggest they could do was a twelve footer.
Lane: Maybe you could make her the world's biggest something else.
Rory: Like what?
Lane: I don't know. Taco?
Rory: I think the world's biggest taco would be a little difficult to serve, don't you?
Lane: Well, it would definitely be more of a commitment.
Rory: We'll just have to tell her it's the world's biggest pizza.
Lane: Lie to her on her birthday?
Rory: It's for her own good.

Jess: So, it's been a couple days since you made the big decision. You still going to Yale?
Rory: Yes, I am. It's got all the classes I want and some really great teachers, and plus, you know, as an added bonus, it's really close to here.
Jess: 22.8 miles.
Rory: How'd you know that?
Jess: Do you Yahoo?
Rory: You looked it up?
Jess: Yeah.
Rory: You looked it up.
Jess: I just hit a couple buttons on the computer.
Rory: You looked it up.
Jess: I was bored. There was nothing on TV and I was fooling around, it was something to do, that's it.
Rory: You looked it up. [hugs Jess]

Taylor Doose: I'd like the wording to be a little harsher.
Nicole: Taylor, it already says that if Aunt Tilly's Taffy delivers even two hours late, they forfeit all payment for that particular shipment and are liable for any loss of income that may result from that late delivery. It's pretty extreme.
Taylor Doose: Well, it may seem extreme, but these candy people are shifty characters. Why don't we leave the wording like it is for now and see how things go? We can always get tougher later if necessary.
Luke: Yeah, you can send over a couple of Oompa Loompas to kick the crap out of Aunt Tilly.

Luke: So, listen, after I dispose of Taylor's body, are we hitting a movie tonight?
Nicole: Yeah, we are.

Rory: Oh, Paris, hi, you're back. Oh my God. What happened to your nose?
Madeline: You had it done.
Louise: Finally.
Paris: I did not have it done.
Rory: Did you fall?
Paris: No, I didn't fall. I had it pierced.
Madeline: You what?
Louise: Oh my God.
Rory: Why would you do that?
Paris: Because you told me to go out and do something crazy.
Rory: Yes, but I meant have some ice cream, go see three movies, buy a new purse. I didn't mean go poke a third hold in your nose.

Pete: [on the phone] Rorino, good, I caught ya. Okay, there's a bit of a design flaw in the pizza here.
Rory: What kind of design flaw?
Pete: I'm a little concerned that the crust is not gonna be able to support all the toppings we talked about. We might need to put in a second crust.
Rory: A second crust?
Pete: About three-quarters of the way in, sort of like a retaining wall.
Rory: What about just making the crust thicker?
Pete: Okay, we're brainstorming, I got it. A thicker crust, a thicker crust, that might do it. Let me noodle around with that for awhile and get back to you.

Luke: What the hell is this?
Lorelai: My birthday Mallomars.
Luke: She says like I should just know this.