Luke Quote #173

Quote from Luke in Happy Birthday, Baby

Taylor Doose: I'd like the wording to be a little harsher.
Nicole: Taylor, it already says that if Aunt Tilly's Taffy delivers even two hours late, they forfeit all payment for that particular shipment and are liable for any loss of income that may result from that late delivery. It's pretty extreme.
Taylor Doose: Well, it may seem extreme, but these candy people are shifty characters. Why don't we leave the wording like it is for now and see how things go? We can always get tougher later if necessary.
Luke: Yeah, you can send over a couple of Oompa Loompas to kick the crap out of Aunt Tilly.

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 ‘Happy Birthday, Baby’ Quotes

Quote from Lorelai

Luke: You ate the cookie, and then you took a cookie out of the box and put it where the cookie you just ate was.
Lorelai: Yeah.
Luke: Well, that's nuts.
Lorelai: Rory made this for me, I don't wanna ruin it.
Luke: Then why'd you eat the cookie?
Lorelai: 'Cause I wanted a Mallomar.
Luke: But why didn't you just eat one out of the box?
Lorelai: 'Cause this one was right here. The box was all the way in the cupboard.
Luke: But you had to go to the cupboard to get the box to replace the cookie you ate off the table.
Lorelai: So?

Quote from Paris

Paris: Well, I didn't buy a new purse, I pierced my nose. And within an hour of having it done, my nose swelled up to four times its normal size, blocking all nasal passage, making it impossible to breathe. I went to the emergency room, where they pried the thing out of my nose and shot me up with antibiotics. I spent the night with an ice pack strapped to my face.
Rory: Oh, Paris.
Paris: It seems that I was allergic to the crap metal hoop that I paid $19.95 to have jammed into my nose.
Louise: Did you take a picture?
Paris: No, Louise, I did not take a picture. I was a little busy trying to get air to my brain cells, a burden you've not yet faced.

Quote from Michel

Tobin: Michel, did you get a bagel?
Michel: I don't want a bagel.
Tobin: Are you sure? They're Kosher.
Michel: I don't eat bagels. Bagels are like glue in your intestines and ensure that everything that enters your body will remain there until you die.
Sookie: Ew. Shut up.