Rory: Should I put your name on Grandma's present?
Lorelai: Yes. Sign it "The innkeeper formerly known as her daughter".
Rory: You know what I think?
Lorelai: What?
Rory: I think you're acting a little immature.
Lorelai: I'm not acting.
Rory: What about the apple tarts? You wait all year for those apple tarts.
Lorelai: I can live without the apple tarts.
Rory: You've made up songs after eating five of them with lyrics that contradict that last statement.
Lorelai: You have to go. You're late.
Rory: You really won't come?
Lorelai: Is somebody speaking? It couldn't be Rory. She's already halfway to Hartford.
Rory: Fine, I'm going.
Lorelai: Drive carefully. Watch out for ice. Bring me back one of those... [door closes] tarts.

Richard: Speaking of which, I'm gonna give that man a call.
Allen: You're getting yourself all worked up.
Richard: As long as I've been with this company, it's been run by gentlemen. Revising a man's work without so much as a phone call would have been unheard of.
Allen: It's a new world out there.
Emily: Please stop all this shoptalk. We're here to celebrate.
Richard: I'm gonna call that man.
Allen: It's past midnight in London.
Richard: Oh. Even better.

Rory: Grandma, could I talk to you alone, please?
Emily: You need something to drink.
Rory: I wanna apologize about the other night.
Emily: Please, this is a party.
Rory: I messed up. It's my fault.
Emily: This isn't the time or place to discuss this. Your mother should've taught you that.
Rory: Don't be mad at her.
Emily: I'm not mad at anyone. Now, go back in and join the party. And take this to G.G. on your way back.

Lorelai: Wait. Can I see a menu?
Luke: You need to see a menu?
Lorelai: Yes.
Luke: You come here every day.
Lorelai: I know, but I usually order the same thing. Tonight I'm in the mood for something a little different.
Luke: A menu.
Lorelai: Piece of paper, list of food offered.
Luke: Okay. Here. [Lorelai studies the menu] It's not in Japanese.
Lorelai: Don't you have any kind of holiday special, something festive?
Luke: I just got some Grey Poupon. It's French.

Lorelai: Tonight's my parents' big Christmas celebration. There's good food, these amazing apple tarts, big tree. It's the only holiday I actually enjoy going over there for, and this year I'm uninvited.
Luke: Why the hell would anybody celebrate Christmas two weeks early?
Lorelai: Did you hear the part about me being uninvited?
Luke: To your parents' fake Christmas party?
Lorelai: Yes.
Luke: I did.
Lorelai: Do you care?
Luke: Obviously you do.
Lorelai: Yes, I do. And I don't know why.
Luke: You liked going, Rory's there without you, you and Rory aren't getting along right now and you feel bad at being separated at a time you usually share together.
Lorelai: Wow.
Luke: Did I mention that you come here every damn day?
Lorelai: I'll have a burger.
Luke: Coming right up.

Lorelai: [cellphone rings] What?
Luke: Outside.
Lorelai: It's like the North Pole out there.
Luke: This sign isn't a decoration.
Lorelai: Nothing in here is a decoration.
Luke: It disturbs the other customers.
Lorelai: Really? Maybe we should take a vote. Who thinks we shouldn't use cell phones in here? [all hands go up] Well, screw democracy. [phone stops ringing] Perfect. Now I have to check my voicemail.

Lorelai: My father's in the hospital.
Luke: What?
Lorelai: He collapsed or something. I don't know. I need to call a cab. Where's the phone? Can anybody give me I'm holding a phone.
Luke: Calm down.
Lorelai: I can't. I need a cab. What's the number? God. It's something cabs, or cabs something. Can somebody tell me the damn number of the cab guy?
Luke: I'll drive you.
Lorelai: But there's food, and people, and a burger with a face.
Luke: Okay, everybody out, we're closed. Let's go! Food's on me. Put on your coat and get your stuff. Taylor, have your hot chocolate, then lock up. Come on, my truck's out back.
Lorelai: Luke, I'm-
Luke: I know. Let's go.

Lorelai: Look.
Luke: Relax.
Lorelai: We're being passed by senior citizens.
Luke: I'm going as fast as I can.
Lorelai: Bye, Grandma. Bye.
Luke: There's ice on the road. Those people aren't being safe.
Lorelai: Well, at least they're getting somewhere.

Emily: But why can't I see him?
Nurse: They're running some tests.
Emily: Well, I'd like to meet the doctor.
Nurse: You will.
Emily: Some strange man is working on my husband. I have a right to meet this person.
Nurse: You will.
Emily: And I want to see the room you'll put him in.
Nurse: You will.
Emily: And stop saying, "You will." Put a proper sentence together for God's sake.
Nurse: Ma'am, please wait here.
Rory: Did you find out anything?
Emily: Please. They run this place like the CIA.

Rory: Maybe I should call Mom again.
Emily: Never mind, I'm sure she's very busy.
Rory: That's not true, I'm sure-
Emily: Rory, go get your grandfather a paper.
Rory: But-
Emily: The Wall Street Journal or Barron's. He'll want something to read when he gets to his room.
Rory: Okay, can I get you anything? Maybe a coffee?
Emily: No, dear, I'm fine.