Rory: "Year-end optimism in recent earnings reports have pushed shares of the telecommunications giant above $65."
Richard: Oh, rubbish.
Rory: "However, some experts say that the stock is dangerously overvalued." [Richard murmurs agreeably]
Emily: Well, how are we doing?
Rory: We're done with the front page of The Financial Times and all of The Wall Street Journal.
Emily: Very good progress. Rory, dear, why don't you save the rest of the paper till later?
Rory: Okay. Grandmpa, if I hug you is it gonna hurt?
Richard: Pain is part of life.
Emily: This little girl likes you.
Richard: Well, she has good taste.

Rory: Dean came over?
Lorelai: Ooh, yeah. He pulled the old tapping-on-the-window bit.
Rory: Were you mean?
Lorelai: Excuse me, I am never mean.
Rory: You were mean.
Lorelai: He told me nothing happened.
Rory: Nothing did.
Lorelai: I know.
Rory: You do? Really?
Lorelai: Rory, there are only two things that I totally trust in this entire world: The fact that I will never be able to understand what Charo is saying no matter how long she lives in this country. And you.
Rory: Hopefully not in that order.

Luke: How is he?
Emily: Oh, you know, he's... I don't know.
Luke: That's a nice tie.
Emily: It's Brooks Brothers.
Lorelai: Ah.
Emily: It was bothering him tonight. I told him not to loosen it. I wanted him to look nice for our guests. So he didn't. And then... The paramedics took it off him on the way here. I just haven't been able to put it down yet. I must sound crazy.

Luke: I heard. Everything's okay.
Lorelai: Yeah. They're gonna keep him overnight but he's gonna be fine. [cries]
Luke: Okay. See, here's where the guy is supposed to give the girl his handkerchief, but I don't have one.
And plus, I find the practice a little revolting, so...
Lorelai: I'm okay.
Luke: You sure?
Lorelai: Yeah.
Luke: All right. Oh, hey, I got this for you.
Lorelai: Where did you get that?
Luke: Nurses' lounge. What? You're not the only one who can flirt. The door was open.

Emily: Oh. Well, I don't know what Lorelai's told you about her father. I can certainly imagine... But he's a very good man. He always did the right thing for his family.
Luke: That's what she told me.
Emily: What exactly is going on between the two of you?
Luke: Nothing. Really. We're friends, that's it.
Emily: You're idiots, the both of you.

Miss Patty: People, please pay attention! Now, I want my before Mary over here and my after Mary over here. Wise men, shepherd, line up for the processional. I only have half a donkey? I need the rest of the donkey.

Miss Patty: Taylor, come quickly. Our before Mary's about to become an after. Who else in town is knocked up?

Rory: It sucks. Things were good. School was good, Dean was good. Now my mother and I are barely speaking. Mom and Grandma are barely speaking. Dean's new name is Narcolepsy Boy.
Lane: How's he taking it?
Rory: I haven't talked to him since it happened.
Lane: That's four days ago.
Rory: I know.
Lane: Has he called?
Rory: I told him not to.
Lane: And he listened?
Rory: No.
Lane: Good boy.

Michel: Yes, right there. Now flip the elf and the fairy.
Man: Which one's the fairy?
Michel: The one with the wand. What are you doing?
Man: Isn't this a wand?
Michel: No, that is a staff.
Man: This isn't a fairy?
Michel: That is Little Bo Peep.
Man: You don't wanna move her?
Michel: I would prefer that you didn't.
Man: So, we're still looking for a fairy.
Michel: The search continues.
Man: No chance you're gonna help me?
Michel: None whatsoever, no.

Lorelai: You're telling me not to come to the Christmas party?
Emily: You're obviously too busy.
Lorelai: I had the German measles in fifth grade. I still had to show up to the Christmas party.
Emily: Lorelai, let's be honest here. I'm not too happy with you right now, and I assume you're not happy with me.
Lorelai: My polka-dot dress matched my face, and still I had to sit through 12 courses.
Emily: I am tired of forcing you to do all those terrible things that infringe upon your life. And I do not have the energy to pretend that the way you treated me was in any way acceptable.
Lorelai: So you're uninviting me to Christmas dinner?
Emily: Yes, I am.
Lorelai: Fine.
Emily: Fine.