‘The One with the Ultimate Fighting Competition’
Season 3, Episode 24 - Aired May 8, 1997
Monica tries to support Pete as he enters the Ultimate Fighting Competition, but she can't bear to see him pummeled. Meanwhile, Chandler is upset that his boss keeps slapping him on the butt, and Rachel is angry with Phoebe for setting Ross up on a date.
Quote from Chandler
Chandler: Excuse me, Doug? [silence] Hey there, sports fan!
Doug: Bing! You got those numbers for me?
Chandler: No. I didn't do them.
Doug: Oh. You forgot?
Chandler: No. No, I just didn't do them. Instead, I hung out with some friends and had a couple of beers. So I certainly don't deserve praise, verbal ... or otherwise.
Quote from Chandler
Chandler: Doug! I'm a little bit uncomfortable with the way that you express yourself.
Doug: Is it the swearing? ls it the constant swearing? Because I gotta tell you, if it is, well you can just kiss my ass!
Chandler: No, no. It's not about the swearing. It's more about the way that you occasionally concentrate your enthusiasm on my buttocks. Don't get me wrong. I appreciate the sentiment. It's just that I have a rather sensitive posterior. And besides, it's making all the other guys jealous.
Quote from Monica
Monica: Please listen to me. You are terrible at this, okay? You are the worst Ultimate Fighter ever. Ever!
Pete: I have a torn rotator cuff, a hairline fracture in my right forearm, and a severely bruised Adam's apple, but that really hurt.
Quote from Chandler
Doug: Well, what about you? You're not feeling left out, are you?
Chandler: No, not at all. That's ridiculous.
Doug: Everybody else got one, and you want one too. Don't you?
Chandler: Yes, I do.
Doug: Now, get on out of here, you!
Quote from Phoebe
Phoebe: Would you rather live in the shirt pocket of a sweaty giant or inside his shower drain?
Quote from Ross
Ross: That's right. Ryder. Winona Ryder for six. Thank you. Yeah. We have the reservations.
Quote from Rachel
Rachel: That was depressing. I just bought a pretzel from one of the kids from Fame.