Phoebe: I can't believe this. How long has this been going on?
Monica: Well, Alexandra has-
Phoebe: Oh. It has a name?
Monica: Phoebe, don't get upset.
Phoebe: Okay. Oh, too late! I'm leaving. Come on, Chandler, let's go.
Chandler: Well, I thought I'd- Yeah, what the hell.

Chandler: How about in that cabinet?
Monica: No, that's where we keep the canned goods. Have you completely forgotten everything you learned in orientation?

Phoebe: Why won't you let me massage you?
Monica: Well, I would just be self-conscious. You're my friend. I'd be naked.
Phoebe: Monica, we lived together for years. I've seen you naked.
Monica: That's different. We were roommates. And when?
Phoebe: I'm curious about the human body.

Phoebe: I'm a professional and I'm really good. Look, if you're uncomfortable, we can stop.
Just give me a chance, okay. Please?
Monica: If it means that much to you.
Phoebe: It does. How would you feel if you couldn't share your cooking? Or imagine how Ross would feel if he couldn't teach us about dragons.
Monica: Dinosaurs.
Phoebe: Po-tay-to, po-tah-to.

Ross: My God, the baby's kicking. That's great. Although, I kind of wish I would have been there to feel the kicking for the first time.
Joey: Well, I got some stuff going on if you want to feel.
Ross: Look, I don't want to miss any more baby stuff. So here's my new pager number. Anytime anything pregnancy-related happens, use it. I'll be there. Okay, I don't care if it's 3 a.m. and all you want is some ice cream.
Joey: Wow. Can I get a copy of that?

Joey: Do you have a bobby pin?
Chandler: Yeah. Oh, no, wait. I'm not a 9-year-old girl.
Joey: Then why do you throw like one?
Chandler: Maybe Monica has a bobby pin.
Joey: Sure, "Monica."

Chandler: Richard, if you're in there, could you pass me my credit card?

Monica: So, what do you say we make it a weekly appointment?
Phoebe: Okay. Okay, but you should know though, I've raised my rates to $200 an hour.
Monica: Okay.
Phoebe: I mean 500.
Monica: What?
Phoebe: 600.
Monica: What's going on?
Phoebe: Oh, you make sex noises when you get massaged. Yeah, it really freaked me out. And after a while, I tried to hurt you and it just spurred you on.
Monica: What? You're crazy. There's nothing sexual about the noises I make.
Phoebe: Really? There's nothing sexual about this? Oh, Ooh, God, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh! What are you looking at? I mean, hi.

Monica: This is so embarrassing. I'm never going to get massaged again.
Phoebe: No, you can't let this stop you from getting massages. No, look, I have lots of clients that make the noises you do.
Monica: Really?
Phoebe: Well, not clients. Lovers.

Rachel: Is it crazy?
Ross: No. Joey, this is a smart idea.
Joey: Well, I was due.