Joey: Why'd I have to say Mike? I don't know a Mike. Why couldn't I have said..? There's no guys in there.

Mike: I gotta tell you, I can't believe I'm doing this with you. Although I did just get out of a nine-year relationship so I guess I should be open to taking some risks.
Joey: Everything's going to be fine. Just follow my lead, okay? All you have to do is pretend to be Mike.
Mike: I am Mike.
Joey: Attaboy.

Phoebe: So, Mike, how do you and Joey know each other, anyway?
Mike: How do Joey and I know each other? Boy, if I had a nickel for every time somebody's asked me that.
Joey: From school.
Mike: Yeah, we met in college. [Joey shakes his head] I mean high school.
Phoebe: Wow. You guys go way back, then. So, what are you up to these days?
Mike: Well, I'm a lawyer.
Joey: Mike, attorney at law.
Mike: Actually, I just gave up my practice.
Joey: What? That's the kind of thing you usually run by me.

Mike: Well, I always wanted to play piano professionally and I figured if I don't do this, I never will.
Phoebe: Wow, that's great. I like that better than the lawyer thing.
Joey: Which is why I waited until now to introduce you to Mike.
Mary Ellen: I thought you thought he was still a lawyer.
Joey: No. No, that's not what I meant. Let's get you a cocktail.

Monica: What are you doing?
Chandler: Looking for restaurant jobs for you in Tulsa.
Monica: Aw. That's so sweet. Did you find anything?
Chandler: Slim Pickins.
Monica: Nothing, huh?
Chandler: No. Slim Pickins. It's a barbecue joint. They're looking for a cook. Actually, "cook" may be a bit of a stretch. They're looking for somebody to shovel mesquite.
Monica: "Slim Pickins"? That is so cheesy.
Chandler: Well, So Cheesy also has an opening.

Chandler: Can I say how much I appreciate you coming with me? When we get to Tulsa, I am taking you for a great dinner at Slim Pickins. So Cheesy? Whole Hog? It's gonna be tough to keep kosher in Tulsa.

Monica: Hi, Nancy? Hi, it's Monica Geller. I'm good. Listen, I'm looking for a job in Tulsa. Yeah, well, my husband's been relocated. Because I love him. No, I don't want a job in New York. Javu's looking? Oh, my God! He asked for me personally? Oh, my God! Oh. Wow, this is really, really flattering. But I'm moving to Tulsa. Yeah. So, just, if you would tell Javu I'll take it.

Mary Ellen: Well, wait. Is your mom okay?
Joey: Please, we're trying to have a conversation.
Mary Ellen: Wow, you're a lot nicer on "Days of Our Lives".
Mike: "Days of Our Lives"! That's why you look so familiar.
Phoebe: What?
Mike: What?
Joey: What?!

Phoebe: Let me ask you something: Mike, let me ask you something: how many sisters does Joey have?
Mike: Six.
Joey: What are you doing? I said seven. Oh!

Monica: Are you serious? You still see Dr. Gettleman?
Ross: He is a brilliant diagnostician.
Chandler: Diagnostician or boo-boo fixer?