‘The One with the Pediatrician’
Season 9, Episode 3 - Aired October 10, 2002
Rachel searches for another pediatrician after her endless worries led their original doctor to "fire" them. After agreeing to move to Tulsa with Chandler, Monica is offered her dream job in New York. Meanwhile, Phoebe and Joey agree to set each other up on blind dates.
Quote from Ross
Girl: Mommy, I can't find Waldo.
Ross: What, the circus? He's behind the elephant.
Sally: Wow. So your child's a big fan of the Waldo books too?
Ross: Yeah, that's how I know.
Quote from Joey
Chandler: What's the matter, Joe?
Joey: I'm mad at you for leaving. You know, you're nothing but a big leaver. A big leaver with a stupid suitcase.
Chandler: Any chance you're trying to pick a fight to make all of this easier?
Joey: Aw, dude, you see right through me!
Quote from Joey
Chandler: Don't worry. I'll be back before you know it. Yes, it will be the same. Because I know, that's how. I promise.
Joey: You double promise? Call me when you land.
Monica: Can I talk now?
Joey: Okay, bye.
Monica: Joey!
Joey: He had to board.
Quote from Chandler
Rachel: It's impossible to find a good doctor. I mean, how do you know the good ones from the ones who are going to push their penis against your knee?
Monica: Excuse me?
Chandler: I know what she's talking about.
Quote from Mike
Phoebe: Well, why did you go along with that?
Mike: Because I was told that I'd get a free dinner, which I didn't. And that I'd meet a pretty girl, which I did.
Phoebe: That's true.
Quote from Joey
Joey: Wait a minute. Wait, you can't go to Tulsa. Maybe you forgot, but we have tickets to the Jets game next week.
Chandler: I'm sorry, buddy, but I don't think I'm going to be able to make it.
Joey: But we were gonna go see the Jets!
Quote from Joey
Phoebe: It's so weird seeing Ross and Rachel with a baby. It's just so grownup.
Joey: I know, yeah. I feel like we're all growing up. ... A person named "Wiener." God, that kills me.
Phoebe: Look at you all grown-up.
Quote from Joey
Joey: Well, that whole thing with Rachel made me realize that maybe I'm ready for a more serious relationship, you know? Like, I'd like to meet a nice, mature, commitment-minded lady.
And looks aren't as important as... Nah, she's gotta be hot.
Quote from Rachel
Ross: Was there anything even wrong with Emma?
Rachel: Yes, of course there is. Okay? I'm not insane.
Ross: Well, what was it?
Rachel: Hiccups.
Ross: Rach, I told you, you can't call him every time any little thing comes up.
Rachel: Yeah. Well, not anymore I can't. He fired us.