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The One with the Lesbian Wedding

‘The One with the Lesbian Wedding’

Season 2, Episode 11 - Aired January 12, 1996

When Carol and Susan decide to get married, Monica is given the job of catering the ceremony. Meanwhile, Phoebe is inhabited by spirit of an 82-year-old client who died on the massage table, and Rachel's mother comes to town with a surprising announcement.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: What a day. Oh, I took her everywhere. The Museum of Modern Art, Rockefeller Center, the Statue of Liberty.
Rachel: She's still with you?
Phoebe: Yes. I guess she hasn't seen everything yet. I'll be right back. She has to go to the bathroom again. [looking at Mrs. Green, as Mrs. Adelman] Oh, such a pretty face.

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Quote from Mrs. Green

Mrs. Green: Oh, this is so much fun. Just the girls. Do you know what we should do? Does anybody have any marijuana?
Rachel: God!
Monica: All right, look, no one's smoking pot around all this food.
Mrs. Green: Well, that's fine. I never did it. I just thought I might. So, what's new in sex?
Rachel: "What's new in sex?"
Mrs. Green: Well, the only man I've ever been with is your father.

Quote from Joey

Monica: Joey, speed it up.
Joey: I'm sorry. It's the pigs. They're reluctant to get in the blanket.

Quote from Monica

Phoebe: Monica, how did this happen? I thought you had this all planned out.
Monica: Do you want me to cry? Is that what you want? Do you wanna see me cry?
Phoebe: Sir, no, sir!

Quote from Ross

Ross: I can't believe I'm gonna say this, but I think Susan's right.
Carol: You do?
Ross: Look, do you love her? And you don't have to be too emphatic about this.
Carol: Of course I do.
Ross: Well then, that's it. And if George and Adelaide can't accept that, then the hell with them.
Look, I mean, if my parents didn't want me to marry you there's no way that would've stopped me. Look, this is your wedding. Do it.

Quote from Monica

Monica: So we're back on?
Carol: We're back on.
Monica: You heard the woman. Peel! Chop! Devil! Can't believe I lost two minutes.

Quote from Joey

Monica: Okay, which one of us is gonna be the first one to get married?
Ross: Mon, I was married.
Phoebe: Yeah, me too, technically.
Phoebe: I had a wedding.
Monica: All right, just trying to start a discussion.
Joey: Okay. I got one. Which one do you think will be the last to get married? [Everyone looks at Chandler]
Chandler: Isn't Ben in this?
Joey: Of course!
Rachel: Absolutely.

Quote from Mrs. Green

Mrs. Green: Oh, honey I am sorry. Please don’t be mad at me. What- What can I do? Do you want me to make those little marshmallow treats you used to like? I can call up Carmel and find out how.
Rachel: Mom, I just don’t understand. I thought you were happy.
Mrs. Green: Yeah. Well, so did I. But- But you know how sometimes you’re driving on the highway and you get home and you can’t actually remember having driven there.
Rachel: Uh-huh.
Mrs. Green: That’s what my life has kind of been like.
Rachel: Uh, but couldn’t you have listened to the radio more?
Mrs. Green: I wish it were that easy. But then I see you here and I keep thinking ‘Why can’t I have this? I want adventures, I want to hang out, I want a Chandler”
Rachel: Mom! Mom. Mom, believe me Chandler is no reason to leave daddy! I mean, you think this looks like I am having a lot of fun but it’s really hard, really hard. I've got this lousy job. I barely know if I am going to make rent, and forget about buying stuff.
Mrs. Green: Oh honey, you don’t understand. I’d be doing what you are doing, but with money. It’s very different.

Quote from Rachel

Mrs. Green: Look at this.
Rachel: Oh, these are all Halloween, three years ago.
Mrs. Green: Oh, and look, here's Barry. Did he have to come straight from the office?
Rachel: Oh, no. That was his costume. See, he's actually an orthodontist, but he came as a regular dentist.

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: I shouldn't even bother coming up with a line, right?
[Woman shakes her head]

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