Chandler: Well, we gotta do something.
Joey: There's only really one thing you can do.
Monica: What is it?
Joey: You're gonna have to pee on it.
Monica: What? Gross!
Joey: Don't blame me. I saw it on the Discovery Channel.
Chandler: You know what, he's right. There's something like ammonia in that that kills the pain.
Monica: Well, forget it. It doesn't hurt that bad!
Joey: If you want some privacy, you can use my hole.

Joey: Okay, so we went to the beach because Phoebe found out about this lady who knew her mom and dad, and I don't know what happened with that. Oh, and then Monica joked she wouldn't go out with a guy like Chandler and he couldn't let go, and I don't really know what happened there either. Ooh, ooh. Then Ross's new girlfriend, Bonnie, shows up and Rachel convinces her to shave her head. Then Ross and Rachel kiss and now Ross has to choose between Rachel and the bald girl. And I don't know what happened there either. You know what, hold on. Let me go get Chandler.

Phoebe Abbott: You're here and I would really like to get to know you.
Phoebe: Well, everybody does. I'm a really cool person.

Monica: Jellyfish sting! Ow, it hurts. It hurts. It hurts.
Chandler: Well, can we help you, take you back to the house?
Monica: No, it's like two miles.
Joey: Yeah, and I'm a little tired from digging the hole.

Phoebe Abbott: So I guess you'd like to know how it all happened.
Phoebe: I mean, I think I can figure it out. I was born, and then everyone started lying their asses off.

Chandler: Okay, there's a nuclear holocaust. I'm the last man on earth. Would you go out with me?
Monica: Eh.
Chandler: I've got canned goods.

Rachel: How was the beach?
Chandler: Nothing.
Monica: I don't know.
Ross: What happened?
Monica: Nothing. I'm going to take a shower.
Chandler: Me too.
Joey: Me too.

Ross: This breakup was not all my fault. She says here "lf you accept full responsibility" - full responsibility - "I can begin to trust you again. Does that seem like something you can do? Does it?"

Phoebe: Hi, Ursula.
Ursula: Hey.
Phoebe: Okay, well, I know that we haven't talked in a long time. Okay, our mom is not our birth mom. This other lady is our birth mom.
Ursula: Right, okay, the one that lives in Montauk.
Phoebe: You know her?
Ursula: No. I read about her in Mom's suicide note.
Phoebe: There was a suicide note? Do you still have it?
Ursula: Hang on.
Phoebe: I can't believe you didn't tell me there was a suicide note.
Ursula: Yeah, so how have you been doing?
Phoebe: I've been- Shut up! "Goodbye, Phoebe and Ursula. I'll miss you. P.S. Your mom lives in Montauk." You just wrote this!
Ursula: Well, it's pretty much the gist. Except for the poem. You read the poem, right?
Phoebe: No.
Ursula: All right. Hang on.

Ross: Hey, guys, what do you say about making that beach trip an annual thing?
Chandler, Monica and Joey: No!