‘The One with the East German Laundry Detergent’
Season 1, Episode 5 - Aired October 20, 1994
When Chandler and Phoebe vow to breakup with their partners at the same time, Chandler struggles to do the deed with Janice. Meanwhile, Ross helps Rachel master an important part of independent living, laundry, and Joey convinces Monica to join him on a double date that's not quite what it seems.
Quote from Joey
Joey: Come on! We were great together. And not just at the fun stuff, but, like, talking too.
Quote from Monica
Joey: Monica, I'm telling you, this guy is perfect for you.
Monica: Forget it! Not after your cousin who could belch the alphabet.
Quote from Ross
Ross: What are you saying, that I should shave again? Pick up some wine?
Chandler: Well, you may wanna rethink the dirty underwear. Well, this is basically the first time she's going to see your underwear. You want it to be dirty?
Ross: No.
Chandler: Oh, and the fabric softener?
Ross: Okay, okay. Now what is wrong with my Snuggles? What? It says I'm a sensitive, warm kind of guy. You know, like a little fuzzy bear. [giggles] All right, I can pick something else up on the way.
Quote from Phoebe
Phoebe: This is nice. We never do anything, just the two of us.
Chandler: Great. Maybe tomorrow we can rent a car, run over some puppies.
Phoebe: Ew. I don't wanna do that.
Quote from Phoebe
Chandler: That's it?
Phoebe: Yeah, it was really hard!
Chandler: Yeah, the hug looked pretty brutal.
Phoebe: Okay, you weren't there.
Quote from Janice
Chandler: Hi, Janice. Here we go. I don't think we should go out anymore, Janice.
Janice: All right. Well, there you go. [welling up] Stop it, stop it, stop it.
Quote from Ross
Rachel: Okay, I know this is gonna sound stupid but I feel that if I can do this if I can actually do my own laundry there isn't anything I can't do.
Ross: That does not sound stupid to me. No, it's like-- Okay, the first time I had to make dinner for myself after Carol left me- [laundry machine buzzes] I'm sorry, that's all the time we have. Next on Ross.
Quote from Rachel
Ross: Uh-oh.
Rachel: What? Uh-oh.
Ross: Uh-oh, the laundry's done. It's a song. The laundry song we sing. Uh-oh! The laundry's done -
Rachel: What's the matter?
Ross: Nothing. The laundry's done-
Rachel: Come on, show me.
Ross: All right, all right. It's just that you left a red sock in with all your whites, and now everything's kind of pink.
Rachel: Oh. Everything's pink?
Ross: Yeah, except for the red sock, which is still red. I'm sorry. Please don't be upset. It can happen to anyone.
Rachel: But it didn't, it happened to me. God, I'm gonna look like a big Marshmallow Peep!
Quote from Joey
Monica: What were you thinking?
Joey: Look, l'm not proud of this, okay? Well, maybe I am a little.
Monica: Oh. l'm out of here!
Joey: Wait, wait, wait. Come on. You like him. I want her. He likes you.
Monica: Really?
Joey: Yeah. Listen, if we put our heads together, between the two of us we can break them up!
Quote from Chandler
Chandler: Oh, my God! [downs Phoebe's espresso]
Phoebe: Okay, how many have you had?
Chandler: I don't know. A million!