Rachel: You know what, Chandler, you got yourself into those cuffs, you can get yourself out.
Chandler: No, no. I can't get myself right out of them. You must have me confused with the "Amazing Chandler"!

Monica: I'm such an idiot. I can't believe I thought she could change.
Phoebe: Who cares what your mom thinks? So you "pulled a Monica."
Monica: Oh, good. I'm glad that's catching on.
Phoebe: But why does that have to be a bad thing? Just change what it means. Go down there and prove your mother wrong. Finish the job you were hired to do, and we'll call that "pulling a Monica."
Monica: What?
Phoebe: Okay, if a kid gets straight A's, his parents say, "You pulled a Monica." Or if a fireman saves a baby, they'd go "Oh, yeah. He pulled a Monica." Or someone hits a home run, and they say, "That one's out of here." Because some things don't change.

Judy Geller: Everyone seems to like your dish.
Monica: And you?
Judy Geller: I thought it was ... quite tasty.
Monica: So if everyone liked it, and you liked it that would make this a success. Which would make you-
Judy Geller: A bitch?
Monica: Well, I was going for "wrong," but we can use your word.

Joey: Hey, we are so in luck. Treeger said we could have all this cool stuff. Wait right there.
Chandler: Oh, no, no, no. I'm paddling away. Wow, really? We got all this rusty crap for free?
Joey: This and a bunch of bubble wrap. And some of it is not even popped.
Chandler: Could we be more white trash?

Joey: Well, it's good you got out, before she blew up like that Vesuvius.
Ross: The volcano?
Joey: And speaking of volcanoes, man, are they a violent igneous rock formation.
Rachel: What?
Joey: Yeah. Lava spewing, hot ash. Of course, some are dormant.
Monica: Why are you talking about volcanoes all of a sudden?
Joey: We can talk about something else. What do you want to talk about? Vivisection? The vas deferens? The Vietnam War?
Monica: Oh. Did anyone see that documentary on the Korean War?
Phoebe: Oh, God. Korea's a beautiful country.
Ross: With such a sad history.
Chandler: Could there be more Kims?
[Joey laughs at Chandler's joke, looks disappointed]

Rachel: I will buy and wrap all of your Christmas gifts.
Chandler: No.
Rachel: I'll squeeze you fresh orange juice every morning.
Chandler: With extra pulp?
Rachel: Yeah.
Chandler: No!
Rachel: I've got it!
Chandler: You don't have it.
Rachel: I have so got it. There's going to be rumors about this. No way to stop it. Sophie knows. Monica and Phoebe know.
Chandler: How do Monica and Phoebe know?
Rachel: I called them. And when they ask me what I saw ... I can be very generous ... or very stingy.
Chandler: Go on.
Rachel: I can make you a legend. I can make you this generation's Milton Berle.
Chandler: And Milton Berle has-
Rachel: Oh. Not compared to you.

Rachel: What is she doing here?
Joey: [mimics the sound of a squeaking bed]

Rachel: I don't understand. Last time you went out with her you said she was a big, dull dud.
Chandler: Well, I think I judged her too quickly. And this time, we were able to take the relationship to the next level.
Joey: [mimics the sound of a squeaking bed]

Monica: How desperate am l?
Rachel: Oh, good thing Chandler's not here. He always wins at this game.

Monica: I just told my mom I'd cater a party for her.
Phoebe: How come?
Monica: I need the money and I thought it'd be a great way to get rid of that last smidgen of self-respect.