Rachel Quote #318
Rachel: I will buy and wrap all of your Christmas gifts.
Rachel: I'll squeeze you fresh orange juice every morning.
Chandler: With extra pulp?
Rachel: I've got it!
Chandler: You don't have it.
Rachel: I have so got it. There's going to be rumors about this. No way to stop it. Sophie knows. Monica and Phoebe know.
Chandler: How do Monica and Phoebe know?
Rachel: I called them. And when they ask me what I saw ... I can be very generous ... or very stingy.
Chandler: Go on.
Rachel: I can make you a legend. I can make you this generation's Milton Berle.
Chandler: And Milton Berle has-
Rachel: Oh. Not compared to you.
Quote from Joey
Salesman: So here's somebody interesting, Joey. What do you know about Van Gogh?
Joey: He cut off his ear.
Joey: I'm out.
Salesman: He painted that.
Joey: Wow. That's pretty nice. I thought he cut off his ear because he sucked.
Quote from Joey
Joey: What else you got in there?
Salesman: Let's see. Where does the Pope live?
Joey: ln the woods. No. Wait, that's the joke answer.
Salesman: Actually, it's Vatican City.
Quote from The One After Vegas
Rachel: The bottom line, Ross, is we cannot stay married.
Ross: I don't know if that's true.
Rachel: Oh, but it is.
Ross: Okay. You know what this is? This is a difference of opinion. And when that happens in a marriage-
Rachel: Oh, Ross, come on. This is not a marriage. This is the world's worst hangover!
Quote from The One with the Jellyfish
Rachel: And hey, just so you know. It's not that common. It doesn't happen to every guy. And it is a big deal!
Chandler: I knew it!
Rachel: The nights are the hardest. But then the day comes and that's every bit as hard as the night. And then the night comes again...
Monica: The days and nights are hard, I get it. Look, Rachel, I'm sorry. I have to start getting ready. I'm getting married today.
Rachel: I know. At dusk. That's such a hard time for me.