Joey: I'm telling you, it's gonna be worth it. It's a known fact that women love babies. All right, women love guys who love babies. It's the whole sensitive thing. Quick, aim him at that pack of babes. Maybe one of them will break away.

Phoebe: [playing guitar and singing] When I play, I play for me, I don't need your charity- Thank you!

Ross: Well, there's no way I'm getting a shot. Maybe they can take the needle and squirt it into my mouth. You know, like a squirt gun.

Chandler: That's a good plan, Joe. Next time we want to pick up women we should just go to the park and make out.

Joey: Oh, we're not out. We're just two heterosexual guys hanging with the son of our other heterosexual friend, doing the usual straight-guy stuff.
Chandler: You done?
Joey: Yeah.

Joey: Ben! Ben!
Chandler: Oh, that's good. Maybe he'll hear you and pull the cord.
Joey: Stop the bus!

Ross: I'm sorry. Sorry! I got my S's back! [Monica glares at Ross] Which we can celebrate later.

Phoebe: [playing guitar and singing] He was a double, double, Double-jointed boy.

Phoebe: So are you the professional guitar player?
Stephanie: Yeah, I'm Stephanie.
Phoebe: Right. My name was on there, but now it just says carrot cake. So how many chords do you know?
Stephanie: All of them.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah? So you know D?
Stephanie: Yeah.
Phoebe: Do you know A-minor?
Stephanie: Yeah.
Phoebe: Okay, do you know how to go from D to A-minor?
Stephanie: Yeah.
Phoebe: So does your guitar have a strap?
Stephanie: No.
Phoebe: Oh, mine does. [playing guitar and singing] Stephanie knows all the chords-

Chandler: Transit Authority? I'm doing research for a book. I was wondering what somebody might do if they left a baby on a city bus. Yes, I realize that would be a stupid character.
Joey: Hi. Here's the deal: We lost a car seat on a bus. It's white plastic with a handle and it fits onto a stroller. Oh, and there was a baby in it. He wants to talk to you again.