‘The One with the Baby on the Bus’
Season 2, Episode 6 - Aired November 2, 1995
When Monica's pie gives Ross an allergic reaction, he is rushed to the hospital and leaves Ben in the care of Chandler and Joey. As they try to make the most of the baby's appeal to women, they accidentally leave him on a bus. Meanwhile, Phoebe is outraged when Central Perk hires a professional musician.
Quote from Phoebe
Phoebe: But this is my gig. This is where I play. My name is written out there in chalk. You know, you can't just erase chalk.
Quote from Chandler
Caroline: Who is this little cutie-pie?
Chandler: Well, don't think me immodest, but me.
Quote from Phoebe
Phoebe: You know, this whole playing for money thing is so not good for me. I don't know, when l sang "Su-su-suicide" I got, like, I got $1.75. But then "Smelly Cat"? I got 25 cents and a condom. So, you know, now I just feel really bad for "Smelly Cat."
Rachel: Well, you know, honey, I don't think everybody gets "Smelly Cat." I mean, if all you've ever actually had are healthy pets, then whoosh!
Quote from Rachel
Phoebe: But it's not even that, you know? I used to do my songs because it made me happy.
Now it's just all about the money, you know?
Rachel: Well, people missed you in there. In fact, there was actually a request for "Smelly Cat."
Phoebe: Really? From who?
Rachel: Well, me. And I know it's not your, you know, big money song, but it's my favorite.
Quote from Chandler
Chandler: You know, I don't think we brought enough stuff. Did you forget to pack the baby's anvil?
Quote from Rachel
Rachel: Honey, I'm sorry.
Phoebe: And he's going to be paying this woman? Why doesn't he just give her a throne and a crown? And, like, a gold stick with a ball on top?
Rachel: Terry is a jerk. Okay, that's why we are always saying, "Terry's a jerk." That's where that came from.
Quote from Ross
Ross: How about the time I cut the legs off your Malibu Ken?
Monica: That was you?
Ross: They were infected. He wouldn't have made it.
Quote from Chandler
Monica: What if my own baby hates me? What do I do then?
Chandler: Monica, stop! This is nuts. Do you know how long it'll be before you actually have to deal with this problem? I mean, you don't even have a boyfriend yet. [Monica glares at Chandler] Joey, she does not look fat.
Quote from Ross
Monica: Okay, get your coat. We're going to the hospital.
Joey: Is he going to be okay?
Monica: Yeah, he's just gotta get a shot.
Ross: Oh. Uh, you know, actually, it's getting better. It is. Let's not go. [lisping] Anyone up for Scrabble?
Quote from Chandler
Joey: Come on, we want to do it. Don't we?
Chandler: Well, I was looking forward to playing basketball but I guess that's out the window.