‘The One with Chandler's Dad’
Season 7, Episode 22 - Aired May 10, 2001
Monica convinces Chandler to reach out to his estranged father and invite him to their wedding. Meanwhile, Rachel gets into trouble when she takes Monica's Porsche for a spin, while Phoebe introduces Joey to the world of female lingerie.
Quote from Rachel
Ross: That's not funny. You need to stop horsing around.
Rachel: I am not horsing around, okay? I am "Porsche-ing" around.
Quote from Ross
Ross: Stay calm. Nothing is going to happen to you. You're not in that much trouble.
Rachel: Really? You think so?
Ross: I was talking to myself. You're going down!
Quote from Ross
Rachel: Switch places with me. Come on. I'll go under, you go over.
Ross: Yeah, I'll get right on that.
Quote from Rachel
Officer Hanson: Wow!
Ross: Here it comes. This is a great picture.
Rachel: Really? You think so? You know, I had just rolled right out of bed.
Officer Hanson: Yeah, well, you look phenomenal.
Ross: Well, she should. It was taken 10 years ago!
Rachel: You know, you're probably wondering about the old date.
Officer Hanson: Yes, I am. You're an Aquarius, huh?
Rachel: I'll bet you're a Gemini.
Officer Hanson: No.
Rachel: Taurus?
Officer Hanson: No.
Rachel: Virgo?
Officer Hanson: No.
Rachel: Sagittarius?
Officer Hanson: Yep.
Rachel: I knew it. I knew it!
Officer Hanson: Well, I tell you what. You're not going to speed anymore, right?
Rachel: I won't speed.
Officer Hanson: And you promise you'll get this taken care of right away?
Rachel: I promise.
Quote from Chandler
Chandler: Oh, my God!
Monica: What?
Chandler: That's Mr. Garibaldi playing the piano.
Quote from Phoebe
Joey: Hey, Pheebs.
Phoebe: Hey.
Joey: Check it out. How much of a man am I?
Phoebe: Wow, nice. Manly, and also kind of a slut.
Quote from Joey
Joey: You know, I'm beginning to see what Jake was talking about. The silk feels really good. Yeah, and things aren't as smashed down as I thought they would be.
Phoebe: That's great, Joe.
Joey: And you have so many more choices than you do with men's underwear. Bikini, French cut, thong. And the fabrics: you got cotton, silk, lace. And you know what I've always wondered about? Pantyhose. You know, the way they start at your toe, then they go all the way up to- I should go take these off, shouldn't I?
Phoebe: I think it's important you do.
Quote from Chandler
Chandler: When I was growing up, I played the one on the far left.
Quote from Rachel
Rachel: You know what, remind me to introduce you to someone.
Ross: Who?
Rachel: Fourth gear.
Quote from Ross
Ross: What does he want? I wasn't doing anything.
Rachel: Well, maybe he saw your hands slip briefly from the 10 and 2:00 position.
Ross: Maybe it's, uh, Sergeant Sagittarius coming back to flirt some more.