Ross: It's just, what you have to realize is, this whole Mark thing is really hard for me.
Rachel: Honey, why is it hard? We've been together for almost a year now.
Ross: Well, I was with Carol for like eight years, and I lost her. And now, if it's possible, I think I love you even more. So it's hard for me to believe that I'm not going to well, that someone else isn't going to take you away.
Gunther: Let it be me. Let it be me.

Chandler: Meanwhile, she is talking to him about you, and he's being Mr. Joe Sensitive. And she starts thinking, "Maybe this guy is for me because he understands me."
Joey: And before you know it, she's with him. And you'll be all, "Oh, man," and he'll be all, "Yes." Huh? And us, we'll be like, "Oh, dude." And pretty soon, you'll be like, [sad voice] "Hi." And, and, and, "Well, I can't go. Rachel and Mark might be there." And we'll be like, "Man, get over it. It's been four years."
Chandler: He paints quite a picture, doesn't he?

Chandler: Hey, what are you doing Friday?
Ross: Why?
Chandler: I need you to come to this bachelor party for my weird cousin Albert. You know, he's the botanist?
Ross: Oh, God. Yeah, botanists are such geeks.
Chandler: Yeah. Is that a dinosaur tie?
Ross: Yeah. [roaring]

Joey: It is me. It's a musical version of "A Tale of Two Cities," so I think I'm going to sing "New York, New York," and, uh- Oh, "I Left My Heart in San Francisco."
Ross: Uh, Joey, I don't think you get to pick the cities.
Joey: What?
Ross: Mr. Dickens gets to pick them.
Joey: Who?
Chandler: I'll get you the CliffsNotes.
Joey: The what?
Chandler: The abridgment.
Joey: Oh, okay. Ha, ha. [to Ross] The what?

Mark: Rachel Green's line. How may I help you?
Ross: Hi. Is Rachel there?
Mark: And who may I say is calling?
Ross: This is Ross.
Mark: Ross of?
Ross: Of "Ross and Rachel."

Ross: Bye, Chandler.
Chandler: Listen, this pen's getting kind of boring, so can you pick me up some porn?

Rachel: Okay, hey. Does everybody hate these shoes?
Chandler: Oh, yeah. But don't worry. I don't think anybody's going to focus on that when you're wearing that towel dress.

Phoebe: Rach, I'm here with the purses.
Chandler: It must take you forever to find your keys.

Rachel: Is this actually a lunch box?
Phoebe: Um, no. It's a purse, and there's a thermos in it.

Ross: He's very excited about the bachelor party, though. I think actually the only reason he's getting married is so he can see a stripper.
Phoebe: A stripper at a bachelor party. That is so cliche. Why don't you guys get a magician?
Chandler: Well, if a magician can open my beer with his butt cheeks, then all right.