‘The One Where the Monkey Gets Away’
Season 1, Episode 19 - Aired March 9, 1995
Ross is excited about the prospect of spending the evening with Rachel, who spent the afternoon looking after Marcel, until he finds out she lost the monkey. As Ross worries that Marcel will be seized as an illegal exotic animal, things go from bad to worse when the Animal Control woman remembers Rachel from high school.
Quote from Rachel
Rachel: We were watching TV and then he pooped in Monica's shoe.
Monica: Wait. He pooped in my shoe? Which one?
Rachel: I don't know. The left one.
Monica: Which ones?
Rachel: Oh, those little clunky Amish things you think go with everything.
Quote from Rachel
Rachel: He's a black capuchin monkey with a white face ... and with Russian dressing and pickles on the side. Okay, thanks.
Quote from Ross
Rachel: But let's not drink it here. I'm feeling crazy. You wanna go to Newark?
Ross: Okay, but before we head off to the murder capital of the Northeast, I kind of wanted to run something by you.
Quote from Ross
Ross: I can't believe this. I mean, all I asked you to do was keep him in the apartment.
Rachel: I know. I'm sorry.
Ross: I guess it's partially my fault. You know, I mean, I shouldn't have asked you to start off with a monkey. I should have started you off with, like, a pen or a pencil.
Quote from Ross
Ross: You called Animal Control?
Rachel: Why? Do you not like them?
Ross: Marcel is an illegal exotic animal. I'm not allowed to have him in the city. If they find him, they'll take him away from me.
Rachel: Okay, well, now, see, you never ever, ever told us that.
Ross: That's right, because I didn't expect you were going to invite them to the apartment.
Quote from Chandler
Chandler: No, wait. We may not know about radiators, per se, but we do have a certain expertise in the heating and cooling milieu.
Quote from Chandler
Joey: "Tonight" tonight?
Ross: I think it's perfect. It's just going to be the two of us. She spent all day taking care of my monkey.
Chandler: I can't remember the last time I got a girl to take care of my monkey.
Quote from Rachel
Luisa Gianetti: Well, maybe that's because you spent four years ignoring me. Would it have been hard to say, "Morning, Luisa" or "Nice overalls"?
Monica: Oh, I'm so sorry.
Luisa Gianetti: It's not so much you. You were fat. You had your own problems. But you. What a bitch.
Rachel: What?
Quote from Joey
Joey: We're sorry. You have no idea how sorry. But we promised we'd find this monkey. If you see him, he's about yea high and answers to the name Marcel. So if we could get pictures of you, you'd really be helping us out.
[the woman slam the door in Joey and Chandler's faces]
Chandler: Okay, from now on, you don't get to talk to other people.