Monica: What about these? Do these look the same?
Phoebe: Definitely.
Monica: Not as each other.
Phoebe: Then, no.

Ross: What the hell was that?
Chandler: What?
Ross: The flirting. Aren't you supposed to be going out with, I don't know, let's see, my sister?

Ross: I was watching her the other day at the pizza place. And she was just so sexy and funny and has the cutest little-
Rachel: Okay, we don't need her measurements.

Ross: This is perfect. She'll have to come back here with your pizza. And when she does, I will turn on the charm "au" Ross. I am so glad you don't eat meat.
Phoebe: See? Vegetarianism benefits everyone.

Chandler: Joey on Law and Order. You must be so proud.
Joey: Chandler, she doesn't understand a word of English.
Chandler: Oh, I thought you were Joey's other grandmother. I've done it again.

Monica: When I was in the shower I was thinking about our first night in London.
Chandler: Oh, Joey's grandmother's right there.
Monica: Is that the one who speaks English or the one who doesn't?
Chandler: The one who doesn't.
Monica: That was some hot love you gave me.

Joey: Wow, Pheebs, you speak Italian?
Phoebe: I guess so.

Rachel: Here you go.
Phoebe: Thanks. Where's the other one?
Rachel: Oh, you want both of them?
Phoebe: Rachel Karen Green, where's the other one?

Monica: Rach, what are you doing?
Rachel: Oh, I just can't watch. It's too scary.
Monica: It's a diaper commercial.
Rachel: Oh, yeah, well, you know me. Babies, responsibilities. Argh!

Phoebe: This is terrible. What are you going to do?
Joey: I don't know. This little old lady lives for my career. When they dumped me off Days of Our Lives, she almost died.