‘The One Where Ross Can't Flirt’
Season 5, Episode 19 - Aired April 22, 1999
As the group gathers to watch Joey's appearance on Law & Order, Ross tries and fails to flirt with the pizza delivery girl.
Quote from Joey
Joey: Everybody just keep smiling. It'll kill my grandmother if she finds out.
Chandler: What is it?
Joey: They cut me out of the show.
Rachel: What?
Ross: Are you sure?
Phoebe: Maybe your scene's coming up.
Joey: Not likely. Because you see that body bag right there? I'm in it.
Quote from Chandler
Joey: Soon. I'm gonna be on soon. There I am.
Nonna: No. Sam Waterston.
Joey: No, no. That's me. That's me!
Nonna: No. Sam Waterston. Crime Misdemeanor, Capricorn One.
Chandler: She doesn't know "hello," but she knows Capricorn One.
Quote from Chandler
Nonna: Joey?
Chandler: Joey's gonna be right back. Right back. Meanwhile, let's talk about you. So you're old and small.
Quote from Chandler
Ross: So, do you make the pizzas in one of those wood-burning ovens?
Caitlin: No, actually, I think they're gas.
Ross: Gas? Wow. Intense.
Chandler: If this is the way all the Gellers flirt, we don't have a problem.
Quote from Phoebe
Phoebe: Ross?
Ross: Yeah?
Phoebe: What else do they add smell to?
Quote from Rachel
Rachel: It's actually my friend Ross. He just gets really nervous when he's flirting.
Caitlin: Oh, my God. That was flirting?
Rachel: Yeah. I know, I know. But I'm telling you, once you get past that part where it just feels like you wanna die, he's a really good person.
Caitlin: The guy with the gas?
Rachel: Yeah. I'm telling you, he's really sweet and really funny and he's just got a good heart. Besides, I think he really likes you.
Caitlin: Really?
Rachel: Well, we have seven people and, like, 10 pizzas. What do you think?
Caitlin: I just thought Joey was there.
Quote from Chandler
Chandler: Ground control to Major Tom, Commencing countdown, Engines On.
Joey: That's a scene from next week's show. Next week.
Phoebe: I am definitely going to watch that.
Quote from Monica
Ross: Uh, how does my hair look?
Monica: Ross, it hasn't moved since 1996.
Quote from Ross
Ross: Hey, Pheebs. How's that vegetarian pizza working out for you? You and those vegetables have a real thing going on, huh?
Phoebe: Why are you being weird?
Ross: Do you like it?
Phoebe: No. That would be, "Why are you being cute?"
Ross: Okay. I'm working on my flirting.
Phoebe: Oh. I did not get that.
Quote from Chandler
Joey: My big scene's coming up.
Chandler: If you said, "Big lima bean bubbling up," would she know the difference?