Chandler: Hey. What was that all about?
Monica: Well, I guess there's no harm in telling you now. Rachel and Ross are going to have a baby.
Chandler: [high-pitched voice:] What? I didn't even know! Why didn't you tell me? Why am I talking like this?

Joey: Why would they take our keys?
Phoebe: Maybe they don't trust us.
Joey: No, that's not it. They let me keep my key the last time they were out of town.
Phoebe: You mean the time you broke the ketchup bottle and cleaned it up with Monica's guest towels?
Joey: Hey, I washed those.
Phoebe: No, you didn't.
Joey: Yeah, that didn't sound like me.

Joey: Mr. Treeger? I need to get into Monica's apartment. It's an emergency! Uh, gas leak. Oh, and bring garlic bread.

Ross: Well, we said we'd just do it that one time but now I think she may wanna start things up again.
Joey: Yeah, I don't think that's what it is.
Ross: Why? What else could it be?
Joey: Oh, wow, I don't feel well.
Ross: I'm telling you, that's what it is. No wonder she was looking at me funny at the wedding. She didn't say anything to you?
Phoebe: [to Joey] Maybe it's something you ate.

Monica: Did you hear that? They bumped them up to first class because it's their honeymoon. Come on, let's act like we're on our honeymoon.
Chandler: We are on our honeymoon.
Monica: Grab my ass.

Monica: See, if we'd gone around them like I said, she would have given us those tickets. Damn it.
Chandler: 25 J and K, any chance those aren't together?

Chandler: Just act like you belong.
Monica: Oh, my God! Oranges!
Airline Employee: Sir, may I see your tickets, please?
Chandler: Yes, of course.
Airline Employee: I'm sorry. Would you move your thumb? I can't see the seat number.
Chandler: Oh, that's all right. I have it memorized. It's 1 A.
Airline Employee: Sir, this is not a first class ticket. I'm sorry.
Chandler: Apology accepted. Excuse us.
Airline Employee: Sir, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave.
Monica: Fine. [Monica grabs an orange] Go, go, go!

Rachel: You know what? Can I talk now?
Ross: Oh, sure.
Rachel: I'm pregnant. Ross? Ross? Okay, whenever you're ready. [Rachel starts reading a magazine] And you're the father, by the way, but you got that.

Rachel: Look, I was really freaked out too when-
Ross: Freaked out? I'm not freaked out. I'm indignant as a consumer.
Rachel: You know what? Let's talk later.
Ross: No, I wanna talk now. In fact, I wanna talk to the president of the condom company.
Rachel: Okay, you know, maybe I should come back-
Ross: Yeah, I'll press one.

Ross: It's just I don't think I handled it very well.
Joey: What did you say to her?
Ross: Nothing. But the complaint department at the condom company got an earful.