‘The One Where Heckles Dies’
Season 2, Episode 3 - Aired October 5, 1995
When Monica and Rachel's downstairs neighbor, Mr. Heckles, dies, he leaves his entire estate to the "noisy girls in the apartment above" his. After breaking up with a woman over a minor imperfection, Chandler gets an unwelcome glimpse of his future in Mr. Heckles' possesions. Meanwhile, Ross and Phoebe argue over the legitimacy of the theory of evolution.
Quote from Chandler
Monica: So how was Joan?
Chandler: Broke up with her.
Phoebe: Oh, why?
Ross: Don't tell me. Because of the big nostril thing?
Chandler: They were huge! When she sneezed, bats flew out of them.
Rachel: Oh, come on. They were not that huge.
Chandler: I'm telling you, she leaned back, I could see her brain.
Quote from Ross
Rachel: How did this happen?
Mr. Treeger: He must have been sweeping. They found a broom in his hand.
Rachel: Oh, dear God.
Monica: That's terrible.
Mr. Treeger: I know. I was sweeping yesterday. It could've been me.
Ross: Sweeping. You never know.
Quote from Phoebe
Phoebe: That's fine, go ahead and scoff. There are a lot of things I don't believe in but that doesn't mean they're not true.
Joey: Such as?
Phoebe: Like crop circles or the Bermuda Triangle or evolution.
Quote from Monica
Monica: I can't believe that this whole time we thought he hated us. Isn't it amazing how much you can touch someone's life without even knowing it?
[cut to the group in Mr. Heckles' apartment, surrounded by rubbish]
Would you look at this dump? He hated us! This was his final revenge!
Quote from Phoebe
Ross: How can you not believe in evolution?
Phoebe: I don't know, just don't. Look at this funky shirt!
Ross: Pheebs, I have studied evolution my entire adult life. And I can tell you we have collected fossils from all over the world that actually show the evolution of different species.
Okay, I mean, you can literally see them evolving through time.
Phoebe: Really? You can actually see it?
Ross: You bet! In the U.S., China, Africa, all over!
Phoebe: See, I didn't know that.
Ross: Well, there you go.
Phoebe: Huh. So now the real question is, who put those fossils there and why?
Quote from Chandler
Chandler: Heckles played clarinet in band, and I played clarinet. He was in the scale modeler's club and I was- Well, there was no club, but I sure thought they were cool.
Quote from Chandler
Chandler: What if I never find somebody? Or worse, what if I found her but I dumped her because she pronounces it, "supposably"?
Quote from Ross
Phoebe: Janice? You called Janice?
Chandler: Yes. Janice. Why is that so difficult for you to comprehend?
Ross: You remember Janice, right?
Quote from Rachel
Rachel: Hey, Chandler. Monica just broke my seashell lamp.
Chandler: Neat. I'm gonna die alone!
Rachel: Okay, you win.
Quote from Joey
Joey: "Supposably." Supposably! Did they go to the zoo? Supposably.