‘The One Where Heckles Dies’
Season 2, Episode 3 - Aired October 5, 1995
When Monica and Rachel's downstairs neighbor, Mr. Heckles, dies, he leaves his entire estate to the "noisy girls in the apartment above" his. After breaking up with a woman over a minor imperfection, Chandler gets an unwelcome glimpse of his future in Mr. Heckles' possesions. Meanwhile, Ross and Phoebe argue over the legitimacy of the theory of evolution.
Quote from Chandler
Chandler: [inner monologue] My God, that's a big head! It didn't look this big in the office. Maybe it's the lighting.
My head must look like a golf ball at work. Don't get hung up on it. Quick! List five things you like about her: nice smile, good dresser, big head, big head, big head!
Quote from Ross
Phoebe: So you name one woman that you broke up with for an actual real reason.
Chandler: Maureen Rasillo.
Ross: Because she doesn't hate Yanni is not a real reason.
Quote from Chandler
[knock at the door]
Chandler: Uh-oh. It's lsaac Newton and he's pissed.
Quote from Rachel
Monica: Hey, Rach, you know what we haven't played in a while? Hide the lamp.
Rachel: Monica, let it go.
Monica: Did you know I was allergic to shellfish?
Rachel: Well, then, you'll just have to eat the other lamps.
Quote from Chandler
Monica: Wait a minute, wait a minute. Yes, he is. You are totally different.
Chandler: In a bad way?
Monica: No, honey, in a wonderful way. You know what you want now. Most guys don't even have a clue. You are ready to take risks, ready to be vulnerable and intimate with someone.
Rachel: Yeah, you're not gonna end up alone.
Phoebe: Chandler, you called Janice. That's how much you wanted to be with someone.
Monica: You've made it.
Phoebe: You're there.
Rachel: You are ready to make a commitment.
Chandler: Whoa. Don't know about that!
Quote from Phoebe
Phoebe: It's very faint, but I can still sense him in the building. [shouting] Go into the light, Mr. Heckles!
Chandler: Okay, Phoebe.
Phoebe: I'm sorry, but sometimes they need help.
Quote from Rachel
Buddy Doyle: According to my client's will he wants to leave all his earthly possessions to "the noisy girls in the apartment above mine."
Monica: Well, what about his family?
Buddy Doyle: He didn't have any.
Rachel: Okay, so let's talk money.
Buddy Doyle: All right, there was none. Now, let's talk signing. You be noisy girl number one. You be noisy girl number two.
Quote from Chandler
Rachel: I've never seen so much crap!
Chandler: Actually, I think this apartment sullies the good name of crap.