‘The One Where Eddie Won't Go’
Season 2, Episode 19 - Aired March 28, 1996
Freaked out by his new roommate's behavior, Chandler demands Eddie move out the apartment. Following the death of his Days of our Lives character, Joey is uncomfortable auditioning for small parts despite needing the money. Meanwhile, Rachel, Phoebe and Monica are captivated by a new book on female empowerment.
Quote from Phoebe
Phoebe: Listen to you two. It's so sad. Looks like I'm going to be going to the goddess meetings alone.
Rachel: Not when they find out you slept with Jason Hurley an hour after he broke up with Monica.
Monica: One hour?
Phoebe: You are such a leaf blower!
Quote from Joey
Joey: Not my parrot. I can't watch this.
Ross: Hey, hold on, hold on. How much for the- How much to save the bird?
Removal Man: Twelve hundred.
Ross: Dollars? You spent $1200 on a plastic bird?
Joey: It was an impulse buy. Near the register.
Ross: Go ahead. Go ahead with the bird. Okay, do you have anything for around $200?
Removal Man: The dog.
Ross: I'll take it. My gift to you, man.
Joey: Thanks, Ross. I really liked that bird, though. But the dog!
Quote from Chandler
Phoebe: Are you sure this time?
Chandler: Yes, I actually saw him leave. That guy is- Holding a human head. He's holding a human head.
Eddie: Check it out, man. I tore it off some mannequin in the alley behind Macy's.
Monica: There's no alley behind Macy's.
Eddie: So I got it in the Junior Miss department. Big diff.
Quote from Chandler
Chandler: Look, are we gonna have to bring this out every time Ross comes over?
Joey: He paid a lot of money for it.
Chandler: I'm gonna hold him a different way. Look, I don't understand. If you hated it so much, why'd you buy it in the first place?
Joey: Well, I had a whole ceramic zoo thing going over there. But without the other ones, it looks tacky.
Chandler: So is he house-trained or is he gonna leave little bathroom tiles all over? Stay. Stay! Good fake dog.
Quote from Rachel
Ross: Sweetie, we've got to go.
Rachel: No.
Ross: No?
Rachel: No. Why do we always have to do everything according to your timetable?
Ross: Actually, it's the movie theater that has the timetable. It's so you don't miss the beginning.
Rachel: This isn't about the movie theater. This is about you stealing my wind.
Quote from Rachel
Rachel: Okay, number 29. "Have you ever betrayed another goddess for a lightning-bearer?" Okay, number 30.
Monica: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let's go back to 29.
Rachel: Not to my recollection.
Monica: All right. Danny Arshack, ninth grade. Come on, Rach, you know the bottle was pointing at me.
Rachel: Only because you took up half the circle.
Quote from Chandler
Joey: A little foos?
Chandler: Absolutely.
Joey: What happened to the foosball?
Chandler: Ah, that's a cantaloupe.
Quote from Chandler
Eddie:All right. I understand entirely. You know what? Consider me gone. I'll be out by the time you get home from work tomorrow.
Chandler: [mouths] Thank you.
Eddie: I heard that.
Quote from Ross
Ross: Excuse me. Your wind?
Rachel: Yes, my wind. How do you expect me to grow if you won't let me blow?
Ross: You know, I don't have a problem with that.