Joey: Oh, hey. Thank God. You guys are here.
Phoebe: What's going on?
Joey: Everything is upside-down here. It rains all day long and nobody watches TV, and Ross is famous.

Monica: When I go places with high humidity it gets a little extra body, okay?
Chandler: That's why our honeymoon photos look like me and Diana Ross.

Monica: Phoebe?
Phoebe: Yeah?
Monica: I need to talk to you.
Phoebe: Are you leaving the Supremes?

Ross: Well, I know we start by discussing the shortcomings of carbon dating.
And then I move on to what is clearly the defining moment of the Mesozoic Era, the breakup of Pangaea. Hello? And then there's the overview of the Triassic.
Joey: Ooh. Ooh. Any chance any of this happened in a galaxy far, far away?

Monica: Phoebe's going to say yes to David. That's what happens when you meddle in other people's lives.
Chandler: Phoebe's gonna say yes? That's great.
Monica: No, it's not. She's still in love with Mike.
Chandler: And there's no chance that will work? No, I called him and it's not gonna happen.
Chandler: [gasps] Meddler! Meddler!
Monica: Well, if you hadn't meddled to start with then I wouldn't have had to go in there and meddle myself. No matter how much we meddle, we'll never be able to unmeddle the thing that you meddled up in the first place!

Joey: This vacation sucks. I'm so bored. Stupid rain. We can't do anything.
Rachel: Well, I brought some books. We could read.
Joey: Hey, it hasn't come to that yet.

Charlie: This is such a cute picture of Emma. And is this your son or just some kid whose picture you bring on vacation?
Ross: That's Ben, my son from my first marriage.
Charlie: Your first marriage?
Ross: Yeah.
Charlie: You've been married more than once?
Ross: No.
Charlie: So why'd you break up?
Ross: Oh, it was- It's complicated, you know? She was gay.
Charlie: Oh, my God. This is so cool.
Ross: Okay. Odd thing to get excited about.
Charlie: No, it's just that I was engaged to a guy who turned out to be gay.
Ross: Hey. High-five.
Charlie: Didn't you feel so stupid that you didn't see the signs? My fiance was always going on long weekends with his "tennis partner."
Ross: My wife had a workout friend she went to the gym with every day for a year. She didn't get any fitter.
Charlie: Right, and everybody finds out and they're like, "I knew all along."
Ross: I know. It's like, if you knew, why didn't you tell me? I mean, call, leave a note. "Hi. Just dropped by to say your wife's gay."
Charlie: I know.
Ross: And then- And then you try to make the most out of a bad situation so you float the idea of a threesome.
Charlie: I didn't do that.
Ross: Me neither.

David: Phoebe. You're an amazing woman, and the time we spent apart was unbearable. Of course, the sanitation strikes in Minsk didn't help.
Phoebe: Sure, okay.

David: But, well, now that we're together again, I don't ever want to be apart. So to that end-
Phoebe: Oh, my God, Mike.
David: It's David, actually.
Phoebe: No, Mike's here.
David: Oh, hey, Mike.
Mike: Hi, David. Chandler. Monic- Oh!
Monica: It's the humidity!

Mike: Phoebe, I love you. I've missed you so much these last few months. And I thought we were apart for a good reason but then I suddenly realized that there was no reason good enough to keep me from spending the rest of my life with you.
David: Kind of steps on the toes of what I was going to say.
Mike: I'm sorry, David, but she really has to know this.
David: All right, but after this, I want to see you outside. If the rain stops.