Monica: Okay, I've had it with the hair jokes. Tomorrow morning, before we leave, I'm going to the salon.
Chandler: Okay, Buckwheat.

Ross: Look, I need to talk to Joey. I mean, you guys just broke up. Before anything more happens between us, I need to know he's okay with it.
Charlie: I completely understand.
Ross: All right, I'm gonna go find him. I just need a second before I can, you know... Grandma, Grandma, Grandma. Okay, I'll see you later.

Phoebe: That's the door. He's gone.
Chandler: And she's turning on the TV and watching ... Miss Congeniality.
Monica: Honey? If you know it through a wall, you know it too well.

Ross: Rach, you there?
Joey: Oh, my God, that's Ross. What are we gonna do?
Rachel: Okay, just be calm. Be calm. For all he knows, we're just hanging out together. All right? So just be nonchalant.
Rachel: That's not nonchalant.
Joey: I have no idea what it means.
Rachel: Okay, just hide.

Phoebe: Have you thought about how complicated this could get? What about Ross?
Joey: Well, he's with Charlie now.
Monica: Yeah, but he wants to talk to you before anything really happens with her. And as his friend, I mean, don't you think he deserves the same from you?
Joey: You're a pain in my ass, Geller.

Rachel: Although-
Joey: I like "although."
Rachel: I mean, you know Ross and I haven't dated in, like six years.
Joey: Six years? Wow. That's almost as long as high school.

Rachel: Ross is coming over. I think now would be a good time to talk to him.
Joey: I guess so. I'm just- I'm really nervous.
Rachel: Well, keep in mind that by the time you're done they'll probably be serving dinner.
Joey: Ooh.
Rachel: Still nervous?
Joey: I'm gonna get the lasagna.

Precious: Hi. I'm Precious. Who are you?
Phoebe: I'm Phoebe.
Precious: Phoebe? Mike's ex-girlfriend, Phoebe? The love of his life? That Phoebe?
Phoebe: Enchanté.

Phoebe: Mike and I are back together. And unfortunately that effectively ends your relationship with him. He's very sorry about that, and wishes you the best luck in all your endeavors.

Precious: I just can't believe that Mike didn't give me any warning.
Phoebe: But he didn't really know. He wasn't planning on coming to Barbados and proposing to me.
Precious: He proposed to you? This is the worst birthday ever!
Phoebe: Look, Precious... Mike's not worth this. You're an attractive, intelligent woman and let's face it, Mike's kind of a wang. I mean, he proposed to me while he was still seeing you.
He was gonna break up with you on your birthday? And I don't like to kiss and tell, but he cheated on you a lot this weekend.
Precious: Oh, my God, you know, maybe you're right. Maybe I don't need him. I deserve to be treated with respect. Screw you, Mike. You're a coward and a bastard, and I hope you rot in hell!
Phoebe: You're welcome.