‘The One After 'I Do'’
Season 8, Episode 1 - Aired September 27, 2001
Monica and Chandler's wedding reception threatens to be upstaged by the news that someone's pregnant. After learning that the pregnancy test didn't belong to Monica, Phoebe covers for Rachel by saying she's pregnant. Meanwhile, Joey tries to impress a Broadway director and Ross meets an attractive woman at the reception.
Quote from Rachel
Monica: Are you really gonna do this?
Rachel: Yeah. I'm gonna have a baby. I'm gonna have a baby. I'm gonna have a baby!
Phoebe: With who?
Rachel: No, it's still not the time.
Quote from Ross
Ross: I just didn't see the fast song coming.
Joey: Ssh. Don't try to talk. We'll get you up to your room. We'll soak your feet. You'll be okay.
Ross: Thank you.
Mona: That is so sweet! No, I mean it. There's so few genuinely nice guys out there.
Joey: Tell me about it. I feel like I'm holding down the fort all by myself.
Mona: It's Joey, right?
Joey: Yeah.
Ross: Wait a minute! No! I'm the nice one. I'm the one who danced with the kids all night. How small are your feet?!
Quote from Joey
Joey: Chandler. Will you see if your mom can give my resume to Dennis Phillips? Because if I could get on a Broadway show, I would've done it all: Film, television and theater. The only thing left would be radio, but that's just for ugly people.
Quote from Joey
Monica: Was it perfect? Is it too soon to see the video?
Phoebe: But, you guys, can we just take a moment? Our two best friends just got married. We are so blessed, to be able to share in this incredible joy.
Joey: That is so true. Mon, is it too late to switch from chicken to steak?
Quote from Ross
Ross: I'm so happy for you guys. And you are both so lucky. I mean, you both said the right names. And nobody was drunk. Nobody was gay. And on your first try.
Quote from Rachel
Monica: Between me and you, in this day and age, how dumb do you have to be to get pregnant?
Rachel: Hey. Sometimes you can do everything right, everyone can wear everything they're supposed to wear and one of those little guys just gets through.
Monica: How?
Rachel: I don't know, maybe they have tools.
Quote from Ross
Ross: Mona. What a beautiful name.
Mona: You think so? Because I always kind of hated it.
Ross: Come on. Mona Lisa? Mona Klegglachen? The famous botanist. Huh? Oh, no, she's- Well, she's dead now. But supposedly she was once quite the hottie of the plant world.
Mona: Really?
Ross: Yeah.
Mona: Well, see, I never knew about her.
Ross: Linda Klegglachen.
Quote from Monica
Chandler: Before we go out there, I've got a present for you.
Monica: Honey, I'm not going to put my hand in your pocket.
Quote from Chandler
Nora: Chandler, look, my date has arrived. I want you to meet Dennis Phillips.
Dennis: Congratulations.
Chandler: Thanks.
Nora: Dennis is a dear old friend. And a fantastic lover.
Chandler: Bravo, Dennis, thanks for pleasing my mother so.
Quote from Joey
Dennis: I'm so sorry I missed the ceremony. I was stuck at auditions.
Dennis: Oh, yes. Dennis is directing a Broadway show.
Joey: Hi, I don't believe we've met. Joey Tribbiani.