Photographer: Now, why don't we get a shot of Monica and the bloody soldier.
Monica: Oh, about that, Joey you have to change before the party.
Joey: I can't. I don't have any other clothes here.
Monica: Find some. Please. Anything that doesn't say, "I died tragically in France."

Photographer: Monica, if you could step away. We'll get Chandler and the bridesmaids.
Phoebe: How about just the bridesmaids?
Chandler: You know, I am the groom, right? I was told it was kind of a big deal.
Phoebe: It is.

Rachel: Thank you for doing that. I just can't deal with this just quite yet.
Phoebe: So instead you told me Monica was pregnant?
Rachel: You said that she was, I just didn't disagree with you.
Phoebe: Sneaky.

Rachel: By the way, James Brolin?
Phoebe: Oh, I know. I could only think of two names: Him and Ed Begley Jr. And then I remembered he's gay, so-
Rachel: Ed Begley Jr. is not gay.
Phoebe: Really?

Monica: Oh, sweet Lord.
Joey: I'm sorry, okay? I went down to the gift shop and it was either this or a bathrobe. Look, what's more important? The way I'm dressed or me being here with you on your special day?
Monica: Honey, I'm not even going to pretend I was listening.

Chandler: What size shoes do you wear?
Joey: Uh, eleven. Eleven and a half.
Chandler: Great. My shoes are giving me a little problem on the dance floor. Can I borrow the boots from your costume?
Joey: I don't really even know where I left them, so-
Chandler: Those aren't eleven and a half.
Joey: Okay, fine, I'm a 7! All right, I have surprisingly small feet. But the rest of me is good. I'll show you!

Monica: Well, I talked to her and she's definitely going to have the baby. She's gonna raise it on her own.
Rachel: Well, maybe that's really brave.
Monica: Maybe. I just hope she realizes how hard it's gonna be.
Rachel: Maybe she hasn't really thought it through that much.
Monica: Well, there's a lot to think about. I mean, how is she gonna handle this financially? How's she gonna juggle work? Does she realize she's not gonna have a date again for the next, like, 18 years?
Rachel: [sobbing] I don't know.
Monica: Are you okay?
Rachel: Uh-huh. I'm just thinking about Phoebe. Poor, knocked-up Phoebe.

Waiter: Champagne?
Rachel: Oh, yes. Thank you very much. [Rachel takes a sip, then spits it back into her glass] That's actually how the French drink it.

Monica: Who's the father?
Phoebe: Oh, no. She won't tell us.
Monica: Come on! It's my wedding. That could be my present.
Rachel: Hey, I just gave you peeing on a stick.
Phoebe: See, this is why you register.

Joey: So, did you happen to catch my toast?
Dennis: Oh, my God. That was for my benefit?
Joey: Well, I like to think there was something for everyone. Look, I know you're casting for this new show.
Dennis: Look, Joey, I don't think you're quite right for this project.
Joey: See, that's where you're wrong. Whatever it is, I can do it. And if you didn't see it up there, just try me.
Dennis: It's an all-Chinese cast. Can you be Chinese?
Joey: Well, I'm not proud of this, but-
Dennis: Oh, my God. No, no, no. Please don't.