Frasier: Guy!
Guy: You are not the Crane I want.
Frasier: You're not even the sex I want.
Guy: Where is Niles?
Frasier: Oh, Niles? Company!
Niles: Oh, my God. What are you doing in here with Guy?
Guy: Don't be jealous, Niles, it's not how it looks.
Niles: Oh. ... What?

Martin: The first time I made this was for your mother. I'd been wanting to pop the question but I was afraid she'd say no. This gave me the nerve to ask her and I got myself a great big "Yes". And that wasn't the only "yes" I got from her that night either. [laughs] Still scares me to think how close I came to chickening out, though. You know, as you get older, it's not the failures you regret, or the times you made an ass of yourself. It's the times you never even tried, when you just lost your nerve.

Frasier: I mean, look at that vista, it's stunning. Puts one in mind of the Matterhorn, doesn't it?
Annie: Oh, I wouldn't know. I'm not very musical.

Connie: Hi, Frasier. Roz, I was looking for you.
Roz: Okay, wait, Connie, before you say anything, there's something I need to get off my chest. I have bought Girl Scout cookies from you, I have paid for your kids' band uniforms, I've bought tickets to every raffle your church ever had, and I'm tapped out. So whatever it is you came to say to me, I'm not interested.
Connie: Well, I'll just go then. Oh, by the way, my church had its raffle drawing yesterday. You won the grand prize. Sorry to bother you.
Roz: Oh, Connie. Connie, I'm sorry. Connie, don't- Oh, who cares, what'd I win?

Roz: Oh, my God. It's that free ski weekend.
Frasier: Oh, Roz.
Roz: Listen to this: "Dear winner, you will enjoy a one-weekend rental of a deluxe private ski lodge on Mt. Baker, complete with lessons from a former Olympic champ".
Frasier: That is a grand prize indeed. I must admit, I'm just a bit envious. Well, listen, I hope you have a wonderful weekend.
Roz: Well, thank you, Frasier.
Frasier: It just seems a pity you won't be able to take advantage of those ski lessons.
Roz: Well, there'll be other stuff to do.
Frasier: Oh, tons, tons. Just because you can't ski or for that matter hike, sled, or snowboard, doesn't mean you can't still curl up in by a roaring fire with a nice warm snifter of- Oh, sorry.
Roz: Well, the scenery will be nice.
Frasier: Breathtaking. I just hope you can endure the four-hour drive up there, and you so carsick these days.
Roz: OK, Frasier, I know what you're hinting at. This is the first thing I have ever won in my entire life, and it means something to me. So I'm not going to sell it, or give it away, or trade it for a...
Frasier: Big-screen TV?
Roz: Key's in the envelope.
Frasier: Thank you.

Niles: I've got to get a new divorce lawyer. Claude is clearly no match for Maris's team.
Daphne: Real sharks, are they?
Niles: When we were courting, I sent Maris a valentine that said, "You're the girl my heart adores, Everything I have is yours." Now they're calling it a pre-nup.

Daphne: That's terrible. Can you imagine using that as a weapon, an old valentine?
Martin: I'd love a cold Ballantine.
Daphne: That does it. You're getting a hearing aid, whether you like it or not.
Martin: I don't need a hearing aid. My hearing will be back to normal in no time.
Daphne: You said that two days ago. Soon you won't be able to hear a word I say.
Martin: Gee, wouldn't that be a tragedy?

Niles: I'm sorry, but it was the only way Daphne was going to come, and if you think I was going to let a moonlit ski lodge go to waste, you can think again.
Frasier: You filed for divorce a week ago. Can't you wait awhile?
Niles: Wait? I have waited five long years for this. Dad, don't you think it's about time?
Martin: Uh, I got ten after five.

Frasier: Listen, Niles, if you want to make a fool of yourself with Daphne, that is your affair. But frankly, I will not have you ruin my ski weekend by inviting along this girl that sounds to me like an avalanche risk. I'm going to tell Daphne, no guests.
Daphne: I called Annie. She's all excited. Turns out she just bought new skis with the money she made off her new swimsuit calendar.
Frasier: [to Niles] Well, I hope you're happy. We're stuck with her now.

Martin: I'm gonna make us all a batch of my special hot buttered rum. It's cold in the mountains, you need a little fat in your booze.
Frasier: Good thinking, Dad. After that, I'll whip us up a nice batch of pork-nog.