Niles Quote #991
Niles: Yes. I'm just glad we got here alive. The way you were taking those curves so sharply, poor Annie kept getting thrown up against you.
Frasier: Well, what can I say? I'm a bad driver.
Niles: I grant you she's comely, but don't you find her a tad — what would the polite euphemism be — stupid?
Frasier: Niles, she is just unschooled, like Liza Doolittle. Find her the right Henry Higgins, she'll be ready for a ball in no time.
Niles: Leave it to you to put the "pig" back in "Pygmalion."
Quote from Frasier
Niles: I suggest we all forget this ever happened, and just go to bed.
Frasier: Oh, wait, wait, wait. Wait, everybody. Let me see if I can get this straight. All the lust coursing through this lodge tonight, all the hormones virtually ricocheting off the walls, and no one... was chasing me? [sighs] See you at breakfast.
Quote from Martin
Daphne: What do you need that so loud for? I swear you've gone deaf as a post.
Martin: It's just a cold stopping up my ears, I'll be fine.
[Daphne answers the door to Niles, who is on his phone]
Niles: [on the phone] Dear God, man, whose lawyer are you, anyway? No, I will not calm down! They call that a settlement? You call them and turn it down. I said, turn it down, you ninny!
Martin: Geez, you could at least ask nicely.
Quote from To Tell the Truth
Niles: Well, that's it. It's over. It's over and I've lost. Maris has won. Maris always wins.
Niles: Niles never wins! Niles always loses! That's why Niles lives at the Shangri-La and drives a hatchback!
Quote from Frasier Grinch
Frasier: Dad, I'm sorry, if Frederick's anything like me, the kind of toys he'll like to play with are... A kitchen set, a dollhouse and three kinds of Barbies. Oh, good God. This is for a Franklin Crane from Kennebunkport. Oh, God, do you realize what this means?
Niles: Yes. The Cranes of Maine have got your Living Brain.