TV Quotes

Daphne: What do you need that so loud for? I swear you've gone deaf as a post.
Martin: It's just a cold stopping up my ears, I'll be fine.
[Daphne answers the door to Niles, who is on his phone]
Niles: [on the phone] Dear God, man, whose lawyer are you, anyway? No, I will not calm down! They call that a settlement? You call them and turn it down. I said, turn it down, you ninny!
Martin: Geez, you could at least ask nicely.

Frasier: Oh well, good show today, Roz. I particularly thought that-
Roz: Oh my God, there's that Connie from Promotions. Every time she sees me, she hits me up for another charity.
Frasier: You know, Roz, maybe it's time you set some limits. Good lord, how hard can it be to say "no" just once? Oh well, look who I'm talking to.

Niles: Of course, I can't take care of him.
Frasier: Oh, yes, of course. Of course. Why?
Niles: Because Dad doesn't get along with Maris.
Frasier: Who does?
Niles: I thought you liked my Maris.
Frasier: I do. I like her from a distance. You know, the way you like the sun. Maris is like the sun, except without the warmth.

Frasier: What the hell was that? Was that a gunshot?
Niles: Morning, Frasier. Just getting up?
Frasier: "Just getting up?" Are you out of your mind? A gun just went off in here!
Martin: Niles bought a starter's pistol.
Niles: And there's no need to get snippy. Accidents happen, you know.
Frasier: Oh, I'm sorry. Was I snippy? I didn't realize it was too much to ask that there not be gunplay in my living room!