Frasier: Niles, why don't you just go home and go to bed?
Niles: Well, that is exactly what you'd like for me to be happening.
Frasier: What did you just say?
Niles: Well, if you didn't repeat it the first time, I'm not gonna listen to it.
Frasier: Niles, Niles. That medication is affecting your speech. You've just taken a second dose of it. For God's sake, you're going to make a fool out of yourself.
Niles: Well, you should talk. Look at your shaky hands and your twitching eyes. You were up all night drinking coffee all last night, weren't you?

[As Niles wanders around his apartment at night, he stumbles upon the present from Roz.]
Niles: Oh, Roz!
[He finally opens it to reveal a red dragon figurine.]

Niles: Dad, would you hand me that valise. I want to put on some bug repellent.
Martin: Oh, sure. Ooh, it's kind of heavy. What you got in there?
Niles: Bug repellent.

Niles: [closing the open door] Oh, why don't we just send out engraved invitations for all the bugs of the forest?

Mia: Frasier, you've hardly touched your chicken. Is something wrong?
Frasier: Oh, no, no. It's just that, well, I'm having a little trouble holding the knife because someone dropped a log on my thumb.
Niles: Oh, it didn't hurt you that badly. You are such a baby.
Frasier: You are a baby, running and screaming because of a little moth.
Niles: I told you it was a bat!

Niles: Frasier, before you turn in, there's a little something we need to deal with.
Martin: Oh, Jeez.
Frasier: Oh, right. Dad, your birthday gift.
Martin: Oh, yes, my gift. My gift. I want to open my gift. It's my birthday this weekend, right?
Frasier: Come on Niles. It'll be fun, come on.
Niles: Oh, yes, fine.
Frasier: Oh, come on, seeing you and me, Dad and Mom?
Niles: You know, I'm getting more excited by the second.

Niles: You tricked me!
Frasier: We'll just be here long enough for me to talk to Stefano, convince him to change the picture so it doesn't mock me for the rest of my life.
Niles: Frasier, the man has a violent temper. He's already made me humiliate myself once.

Stefano: Okay, here we are, antipasto.
Frasier: Oh, well, that's wonderful Stefano. You know, you certainly do have a way of making people feel comfortable. You know, I suspect that it would actually physically pain you to think that someone wasn't totally pleased.
Stefano: What's wrong?
Niles: [shakes his head, grumbles]
Frasier: Well, actually, there is a tiny, tiny problem. Really, it's about my picture, you see. There is a small faction that thinks the forehead is too large.
Stefano: [points to Niles] What, this one?
Niles: No, I love it! [holds back sick]

Daphne: Ooh, sorry 'bout that. So, you brought me something, Roz?
Roz: Well, yeah. I figured you couldn't get married without wearing something borrowed.
Daphne: Oh, what a beautiful garter. Look at all the lovely detail.
Niles: I especially like the little odometer.

Frasier: Well, Freddie, you know, I've made some wonderful plans for our time together. Uh, I've already chosen the book we're going to read. I'll give you a hint, published in 1854, this paean to self-sufficiency was known as the "cornerstone of the transcendental movement."
[Niles stops pouring sherry and eagerly raises his hand]
Frasier: Yes, yes, Niles, I'll let you get the next one.