Frasier: Oh well, there he is. Telling his friends that all of his dreams have come true.
Lilith: Unless that's what he wants us to think?
Frasier: When will you stop?
[Lilith walks to the base station and turns on the speaker phone]
Frederick: [v.o.] It worked. All I did was tap into my parents' feelings of inadequacy and they crumbled.
Boy: [v.o.] What does that mean?
Frederick: I'm getting the minibike.
Lilith: [into phone] Frederick.
Frederick: Uh-oh!
Lilith: Do I know my son or do I know my son?

Lilith: Is this your guest list? Oh, I didn't realize you wanted to invite so many friends. I don't even know some of these people. And why are you inviting Jeremy Berman? I thought you told me he's the biggest nerd in your class.
Frederick: He's not so bad. Besides, the more people you invite, the more presents you get.
Lilith: Frederick, a Bar Mitzvah is a rite of passage, not an opportunity for you to collect presents.
Frederick: I'm sorry. You're right. I'll try to trim it down.

Lilith: Which one of us do you suppose humiliated him more?
Frasier: Oh, I think I did. I've been trying to console myself with the idea that without embarrassing parents, there'd be no psychology. Poor kid.
Lilith: Actually, today he is a man.
Frasier: He is, isn't he?
Rabbi Gendler: Mazel Tov. You must be very proud. Of your son, not yourselves.
Lilith: We are, thank you, Rabbi.

Frasier: I'm sorry, Lilith. This was a very difficult decision for me and I am touched and flattered that you came to me, but I'm not sure I'd be doing it for the right reason. You understand, don't you?
Lilith: Yes, I do. And I appreciate your taking the time to think about it. It's that kind of consideration I was hoping to pass on to our second born. Oh, well.

Lilith: Anyway, long story short, six months in, he tells me I'm "too tightly wound." Me.
Nancy: Wow, I don't know what to tell you, Lil.
Lilith: Lilith. My name is Lilith. Oh, my beeper. [reads it] Oh darn, they need me back at the conference. [gets up]
Nancy: Okay, but listen, we all have bad dating experiences, so don't give up. Get out there, have fun, meet people.
Lilith: You're right. Thank you, Nancy. You're a real pal. And the best survivor guilt and phantom limb expert in the game.

Frasier: No. It is with a woman, a very vibrant, sexy woman.
Lilith: Ah. Good for you.
Frasier: Well, listen, if you're running late, and you need to cancel our drink-
Lilith: No, no, no. I've canceled on you once already today.
Frasier: Well, I canceled on you twice, that would make us even.
Lilith: That's why we're having the drink.
Frasier: Ah.

Lilith: Nancy, it's Lilith again. Listen, this thing with my ex-husband is taking a lot longer than I expected. But I will be there, I promise you.
Nancy: Uh-oh.
Lilith: What do you mean "uh-oh"?
Nancy: Well, I'm on the other line with your date right now, and... I think he wants to cancel.
Lilith: Before he's even met me? Well, uh... tell him I canceled on him first!

Frasier: Say, are there any more kettle chips in the mini-bar?
Lilith: No. We can have either Gummi Bears or cashews, but I'm afraid we can't afford both.

Sean: Wow. You guys are good.
Erin: Yeah, that was amazing. So, do you two just have the best marriage ever?
Frasier: Actually...
Lilith: Yes... we do.

Man: We've got number four on the way.
Lilith: And we're thrilled for you, but perhaps we could chat some other time when we're not trying to create life. [to Frasier] Sign and date.