Drew: Hey, Ma, can I watch the big game?
Rochelle: No, you should have thought about that before you hit your sister.
Drew: Ma, I didn't hit her.
Rochelle: What do you call it then?
Drew: She was trying to take the remote away, and I just tapped her on the wrist.
Rochelle: So you hit her.
Drew: [sighs] I guess. Just a little. But she started it.
Rochelle: That does not matter, Drew. You do not hit girls. Bottom line, do you understand me?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] My mother ruined any chance Drew had of becoming a pimp.
Drew: Yes, ma'am. I'm sorry.
Rochelle: Okay. Now go watch your hockey game.
Drew: Thanks, Ma.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Since I was tired of taking the heat from Newton, the best thing to do was get him fired. All it took was a simple equation: "A" plus "B" equals "See ya!"

Chris: Mr. Newton, what are you doing here?
Mr. Newton: I came to give you your practice exam.
Chris: I don't have to take that test.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Or let you in.
Chris: You're not my teacher anymore. Remember? You quit.
Mr. Newton: How do you know I quit?
Rochelle: May I help you?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Don't help him. Help me!

Mr. Newton: I'm sorry. I'm Mr. Newton. I've been Chris' substitute teacher the past few weeks.
Rochelle: Oh, that's right, yeah. Chris has said a lot about you. Is there a problem?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Yeah, woman. A crazy man is trying to give me a test at home.
Mr. Newton: Not at all. I've been preparing Chris for a practice test, and I wasn't able to give him the exam before...
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Before I got rid of your crazy ass.
Mr. Newton: ...before I left Corleone. I just want to make sure he's ready.
Rochelle: Well, why are you doing this?
Mr. Newton: I think Chris is a smart kid, but I think he can do better.
Chris: Ma?
Rochelle: Better get in there and take that test. Nice satchel.
Mr. Newton: It's real leather.
Rochelle: Really?

Mr. Newton: So, the most remarkable thing happened today.
Chris: What's that?
Mr. Newton: I got a job offer from Lamont Sanford Junior high.
Chris: Oh! Well, that's good.
Mr. Newton: Funny thing is, I never applied for a job at Lamont Sanford.
Chris: Well, maybe they heard about you through the grapevine.
Mr. Newton: [chuckles] Hey, you wouldn't happen to still have that copy of my resume that I gave you?
Chris: Uh, no. You know what? I probably lost it.
Mr. Newton: Oh, yeah you lost it. [chuckles] You ready? Remember Sam Graddy. You have one hour, starting now.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Although I didn't want Mr. Newton as my teacher, I knew somebody that would appreciate him.
Mr. Newton: Pencil down.
Rochelle: So, how did he do?
Mr. Newton: I'll let you know in a minute.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I didn't know how I scored, but I knew Carl Lewis didn't beat me.
Mr. Newton: 92, Chris. That's an "A."
Rochelle: Oh, baby, that's great! I knew you could do it.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] No, she didn't.
Mr. Newton: Congratulations, Chris.
Chris: Thanks, but it doesn't make any difference. I mean, it doesn't count.
Mr. Newton: Yes, it does.