Julius: What I really need is a hockey jersey for Drew. Wayne Gretzky.
Risky: Hockey? What kind of kids you raising?
Julius: Do you have one or not?
Risky: All right, all right. Hockey, uh... I'm sorry, I- I don't have anything, but if I find something, I'll let you know. All right, brother. All right. Okay. Take care. [to himself] Hockey? Them kids in trouble.

Principal Edwards: All right, class, listen up. I reiterate: we are on the buddy system today. So, you are responsible for your buddy. No matter what happens, stay together. We have about two hours, so you have plenty of time to see all the exhibits.
Greg: Is he kidding? You can come here every weekend for years and still barely scratch the surface.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] After 20 years, Greg still hasn't made it out of the bone exhibit.

Chris: Come on, man, we've got to go.
Joey Caruso: All you've been doing since we got here is complaining.
Chris: Well, I haven't really seen anything. All I've seen is you eating in the cafeteria for over an hour.
Joey Caruso: All right, you know what? I'm sorry. I'll just be another minute.
Chris: Really?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Maybe Principal Edwards was right. Caruso might make a change.
Joey Caruso: Yeah, just do me a favor, hold this. Now, go wait by the door.
Chris: Okay.
[As Chris carries the trinket over to the door, a team of shop workers casually surround him]
Adult Chris: [v.o.] The buddy system was failing miserably, but the Black decoy system was working great.

Joey Caruso: How come you didn't tell me the bus was leaving?
Chris: When I said "Let's hurry up before the bus leaves us," what bus did you think I was talking about?
Joey Caruso: Sorry, I couldn't understand all your crazy jive talk.

Chris: Okay, we can catch the next train, and we'll be back in no time.
Joey Caruso: I spent all my money on food.
Chris: Okay, fine, I think I have enough money to get two tokens. So let's go.
Joey Caruso: Who put you in charge?
Chris: I'm just trying to get us back to school.
Joey Caruso: Just let me make the decisions.
Chris: Why should I do that?
Joey Caruso: How many times do I have to punch you before you get a clue? Don't you watch the movies? Gene Wilder made all the decisions in Silver Streak. Richard Pryor just followed orders.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] The next year, Drew got a Yankees jersey that said Mezzie Mackson.

Chris: Look, I don't know what you have against me. Hey, I don't even know you. So, I was wondering maybe... You know, maybe we can be cool. You don't even have to like me.
Joey Caruso: Yeah, I know what you mean. Tell you what.
Chris: What?
Joey Caruso: If you can run faster than I can throw, I won't hit you with this battery.
Chris: [screams]

Chris: Mr. Edwards, he has been picking on me since the first day I came to this school.
Principal Edwards: Is that true?
Joey Caruso: Yeah.
Principal Edwards: All right, Caruso, you can go.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] What?
Chris: What?!
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Before coming to Corleone, Principal Edwards was on a self-imposed, three-year vow of silence.
[flashback:]
Principal Edwards: Keep your filthy hands off of my school lunch program!
Teacher: You get the hell out! Which he allegedly began two minutes after cursing like a madman and knocking out the teeth of his former boss.

Principal Edwards: Have you ever considered the possibility this is your fault?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] That's what they said to Rodney King.
Chris: My fault?
Principal Edwards: He's threatened by you, Chris. Your very presence makes him doubt his ability to succeed.
Chris: He always succeeds in punching in the face.
Principal Edwards: [chuckles] He's using you as a manifestation of his angst. Subsequently, he's trying to quell his anxiety by conquering you, thereby conquering his fear.
Chris: By punching me in the face?
Principal Edwards: Exactly.
Chris: So you want me to just let him do it?
Principal Edwards: Have you thought about trying to see things from his point of view?
Chris: So you want me to punch him in the face?
Principal Edwards: No.

Principal Edwards: Have you ever seen the film The Defiant Ones?
Chris: The Defiant Ones? No. What's that?
Principal Edwards: Two men are shackled together while trying to escape from prison - one White, one Black, one educated, one... They learn they have to depend on each other or perish. That's what I'm going to do for you.
Chris: You're going to chain us together and put us in jail?
Principal Edwards: Yeah! Figuratively. I'm taking some students on a field trip tomorrow. You and Caruso are going to come along. Have your mother sign this. To help you and Caruso learn to depend on each other, I'm going to employ the buddy system.
Chris: The buddy system?
Principal Edwards: You and Caruso are going to be buddies.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Just like the Crips and the Bloods.