Joey Caruso Quote #31
Quote from Joey Caruso in Everybody Hates the Buddy System
Chris: Look, I don't know what you have against me. Hey, I don't even know you. So, I was wondering maybe... You know, maybe we can be cool. You don't even have to like me.
Joey Caruso: Yeah, I know what you mean. Tell you what.
Chris: What?
Joey Caruso: If you can run faster than I can throw, I won't hit you with this battery.
Chris: [screams]
Everybody Hates Chris Quotes
‘Everybody Hates the Buddy System’ Quotes
Quote from Drew
Julius: I'm really proud of you for getting 100 on that test, so here you go.
Drew: Yeah! Wow.
Julius: Huh? What do you think?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Drew thought about saying this...
[fantasy:]
Drew: Gritsky? It's not Gritsky. It's Gretzky with an "E"! I scored 100 on my spelling test. I can't wear this! You got that big old head, and you can't even spell Gretzky. [scoffs] Maybe you should take my spelling classes. I ain't wearing this.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] But if he did, here's what would've happened...
[fantasy: Drew is carried out of the house on a stretcher:]
Detective: What's the story?
Police Officer: Apparently, the kid loves hockey. Father brings home a jersey that says Gritsky with an "I" instead of Gretzky with an "E." Son mouths off, dad loses it, shoves the jersey down the kid's throat.
Detective: Is that the jersey?
Police Officer: It's all we could find.
Detective: Good thing he didn't ask for skates.
Quote from Julius
Julius: [answers phone] Hello?
Operator: I have a collect call from... [Julius quickly hangs up the phone]
Julius: Whew. Whew.
Quote from Julius
Drew: Hey, Dad, check it out. I got a hundred on my spelling test.
Julius: All right. My man!
Drew: I was thinking... Could I get a hockey jersey, since I got a hundred on my test?
Julius: You're supposed to get a hundred, you don't get a prize for doing well.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] My father never rewarded good behavior.
[fantasy:]
Chris: Dad, I cleaned out the tub.
Julius: You're supposed to clean the tub, it's your dirt ring.
[fantasy:]
Tonya: Hey, Dad. I fixed the heater.
Julius: You're supposed to fix the heater. You're the one who likes it warm.
[fantasy:]
Drew: Hey, Dad, I slaughtered a pig.
Julius: You're supposed to slaughter a pig. You're the one that likes bacon.